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Newcastle United Are Not Middlesbrough!

7 years ago

When Papiss Cisse scored that injury time winner against Crystal Palace on the 22nd March, no wonder the fans celebrated, not only a rare three points but also only the second United Premier League goal we’d see at St.James’ Park since Boxing Day.

However, as we all settled back into seats, one of my mates was pointing towards the East Stand and uttering these immortal words. “What the f*** is that, we are not f***ing Middlesbrough!”

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It was then that I realised what he was pointing at.

The latest ‘crowd pleasing’ idea, was that each time Newcastle scored, a couple of poor saps had to jump up and parade biggish flags along the touchline in front of the East Stand.

I’m sorry, but at St.James’ Park we do know how to celebrate a goal, it’s just we haven’t had much opportunity to do it recently…

With the Fans Liaison Officer (who is also bizarrely head of PR as well) at Newcastle United being a Middlesbrough fan, I have this horrible vision of turning up next season and everybody being issued with big foam hands and on the rare occasion a goal actually goes into the opposition net, ‘Pigbag’ starts blaring out of the speakers.

Look, just give us a half decent team that tries to play football and attempts to attack the opposition, we’ll take care of the rest.


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