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Newcastle United Strike Comedy Gold With Latest Incompetence

8 years ago

I thought I’d seen everything at Newcastle United this season until I saw their latest player of the month nominations.

With the club stripped to the bone and countless staff got rid of, the skeleton crew are left with an impossible job as Captain Mike steers us towards disaster.

It is little wonder that daft decisions become the order of the day as both in terms of numbers and expertise, the club is left desperately short – almost ensuring that it lives a day to day existence with chaos ensuing.

If they have given me little else in recent times they have made me laugh this morning with tears running down my face.

Newcastle United have given fans three players to choose from in their March player of the month award.

It hasn’t been the best as apart from the Hull 4-1 win right at the start, which seems now like an eternity away, only a last gasp fortunate win over Palace broke up the misery of shockers against Fulham, Everton and Southampton.

I would have also found it tricky to find three players who deserved in any way to get close to a player of the month for March but can kind of see why Moussa Sissoko is one of the three the club has picked out, he’s tried his best which has mostly been pretty poor but not as bad as most teammates, plus he did score two at Hull in that one decent match.

Papiss Cisse – he did score the winner against Palace and has worked hard but looks way below the standard needed, but again in a barren month…

The third candidate the club nominated though is…Rob Elliot!

Yes, that Rob Elliot. The one who only played once in the whole of March and let four goals in!

Yes he had a canny game which avoided possible double figures in our net but for the actual club to nominate him…

Surely they can see how stupid it makes them look??? Why not go with a safe choice like Williamson who though average over the month wouldn’t have exposed them to ridicule?

It is as though we have an insider who on purpose is flagging up just how absolutely rubbish Newcastle United are at this moment in time and how bleak the future currently looks.

‘Roll up roll up and vote for our star player – he’s a goalkeeper who only played one match yet picked the ball out of the net four times – yes that is how crap we are these days!’


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