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Names Of Alan Pardew’s ‘Ten Senior Players Missing’ Leaked

8 years ago

To the bemusement of everybody, probably even the Newcastle manager himself, Alan Pardew claimed after the defeat at Stoke that he had ‘ten senior players missing’.

The United boss saying;

“We had ten senior players missing and it is a difficult hole to try and fill at the moment.”

‘I’m expecting a lot more from you in these last 4 games…’

At the time, Pardew didn’t volunteer who these mysterious ten players were, nor did the assembled journalists press him as to the mystery/imaginary missing team.

However, thanks to my secret inside ‘sauces’ at St.James’ Park, Alan Pardew’s list of the legendary ten has been sneaked out.

The following note discovered under a pile of Sports Direct catalogues, which Pardew was shortly going to be delivering around the doors in one of his many roles under Mr.Ashley;

‘This is them ten players wot I woz missing

Mathieu Debuchy

Demba Ba

Davide Santon

Andy Carroll

Moussa Sissoko


Loic Remy

Yohan Cabaye

Andy Carroll

Jackie Milburn;

I now take everything back and apologise, no manager can possibly be expected to fill the ‘hole’ that these ten missing players have left.

All we need now is all ten to become available again to stop the excuses…

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