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Alan Pardew Press Conference Alternative Statement

8 years ago

On Thursday afternoon we will be treated to another Alan Pardew press conference ahead of the Swansea match.

However, Shaun McKenna has helped out the beleaguered Newcastle manager by preparing Pardew’s script, thus saving the NUFC press office/Mike Ashley their usual job;

‘I have tried everything I am capable of at this club but I`m afraid I cannot take this club any further. So as of now, my resignation is lodged with Mr Ashley, with immediate effect.

 As I no longer work for Mr Ashley, I will endeavour to write a book on what went wrong with my tenure, here at NUFC, the ins and outs of Mr Ashley`s dealings and the farcical way in which the club is/has been run.

 I will say this to the fans of this great club, I am sorry for dragging my heels in resigning, but you have to realise that I was at his beck and call 24/7 and had to toe the line in all matters.

As for the head butting incident and the foul mouthed tirade at the Manchester City manager, they were brought about because of high stress levels and indirectly aimed at Mr Ashley.

 I done these things so that he(MA) would surely dispense with my services, which I knew would be good in the long run for the club and its supporters.

This club and its fans deserve a lot more than the current owner, board, manager, coaching staff and players are delivering, I only hope that they get that sometime soon.

To be honest, I have enjoyed my time here to a certain degree, but the fans and local media do not want me anywhere near SJP, so with a heavy heart I have to leave.’

Alan Pardew 


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