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Alan Pardew ‘We Need To Know What Our Process Is To Win A Match’ – Eh?

6 years ago
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Alan Pardew has come up with a new angle of gibberish to try and ignore the deep seated problems that Newcastle United have.

The United manager has said that at Southampton his team had ‘no process to win the game’.

I honestly think that Pardew and certain other idiots such as Sam Allardyce and Steve Bruce, all want to make out that football is suddenly some very complicated scientific ‘process’ that only they and the rest of the chosen educated few are able to understand.

As a layman/thicko, my understanding of a ‘process’ to win matches is basically passing the ball forward to your teammates until one of them is close enough to move it into that net thing hanging between the posts, while at the same time not standing in a static line like four wheelie bins while the opposition pass the ball over and through you and lash it into our net.

Over to Alan Pardew;

“We have got 6 games to go and we have got to make sure that we give a better account than we did (at Southampton).

“That (match) should shock us into doing a performance against Manchester United that makes it very difficult for them.

“We are a lot, lot better than we showed.

“It was our commitment to win the game that worried me a little bit, it was a game where we looked like we had no process to win the game.

“We need to know clearly what our process is and that is what we are going to work on this week.”

Of course Alan Pardew doesn’t dare say that Newcastle are now left with a mainly average to rubbish group of players because we have sold the quality of Ba and Cabaye, made big profits on transfers, no real investment in three of the last four transfer windows, increasingly reliant on praying loan deals work and the manager and his coaching team have little or no clue on how to organise and/or motivate the players.

I love Pardew’s reasoning as to how we are supposedly going to give Manchester United a ‘difficult’ game. Apparently by playing really really rubbish against Southampton, it is then going to inspire the same group of players to play really really well against a team, who despite their own local difficulties, that has just drawn with the Champions League holders. No sure what went wrong after amongst many other examples, the Mackems beat us 0-3 at St.James’ Park, then it was 0-3 at Chelsea, followed immediately by 0-4 at home to Spurs. Maybe losing by only three at home to Sunderland wasn’t enough of a shock for them?

Hmmm, so on that basis, next time you back a horse and it finishes a tailed off last, make sure you put every penny you own on it the next time because it is sure to win…

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