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Alan Pardew’s Cunning Plan

7 years ago
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As Alan Pardew makes increasingly more bizarre statements both before and after matches, supporters are wondering just what is going one.

The latest ones have seen Pardw claiming Newcastle had an imaginary ten players missing after the Stoke defeat, while following the Swansea game the Newcastle boss alleged that he would somehow have stopped them scoring their winner if he had been on the touchline.

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However, I can put your mind at rest as I can reveal that not only is this all part of a plan, but it is indeed a cunning plan.

If I can remind you of the brilliant Blackadder Comedy, the very last episode of the final series, which was set in World War One. That last episode is both hilarious yet poignant, with Blackadder and his men knowing the ‘big push’ is coming, which will basically mean climbing out of the trenches and marching slowly towards all but certain death.

The main comedic part of this last episode sees Captain Blackadder come up with a cunning plan to avoid the fate above.

He decides to act in the most bizarre/crazy way, hoping he will be sent back from the front, invalided out because of the state of his mental health.

Blackadder’s last throw of the dice involves him putting a pair of underpants on his head, two pencils up his nose and talking gibberish.

If Newcastle make it a very likely six defeats in a row at the Emirates, you have been warned what could possibly be Alan Pardew’s next move when he faces the press after that latest loss.

Alternatively, he may just save his underpants and pencils for the next defeat at Cardiff and just stick to the usual gibberish.

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