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Alan Pardew Actually Said ‘We Had 10 Senior Players Missing’ – Who???

8 years ago

There are people who have called Alan Pardew a liar as his claims on camera have become ever more bizarre, today though he has crossed a new line.

After the dismal performance and surrender at Stoke, Pardew has claimed ‘we had 10 senior players missing’.

Alan Pardew;

“We had ten senior players missing and it is a difficult hole to try and fill at the moment.

“I think their (the fans) frustration has boiled over a little bit and we need to settle it down.

“The way to settle it down is to get a win and unfortunately it has not come today.”

Well personally I didn’t know we had 10 senior players at the club altogether, so it was certainly news for me.

Solely for the purposes of that annoying thing some of you call ‘the truth‘ and others call ‘reality’, I felt I had to consult our squad list to come up with this list of 10…

Sissoko (Hiding in France waiting for World Cup to start)

Remy (see above)

Debuchy (and again)

Santon (Disappeared again – another bust up with manager?)

Marveaux (Ignored all season and miles away from team)

Sammy Ameobi (Useless and has also disappeared)

Ryan Taylor (Sadly injured for past 2 years)

Obertan (Not missed on any level)


Mike Ashley (Even he has seen enough after watching a few matches recently)

Kath The Tea Lady (Pushing her tea trolley she’d still be quicker than Shola)




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