There were no prizes on offer apart from giving everybody a laugh but thanks to everybody who gave us their one-liners in our Mike Ashley/Alan Pardew caption competition.

We asked you to come up with your best guesstimate of what the Newcastle United owner is saying to Alan Pardew.

The United manager not exactly looking comfortable as he meets up with his boss.

Most people kept their comments clean-ish and please find below the best  of the many we received.

If you missed the chance yesterday, feel free to add your own in the comments section below.

pardew caption


Thanks to WhitbyMag for this honorary winner, followed by the best of the rest;

“Alan I’ve just seen ‘12 Years A Slave’, which reminds me , Shall we shake on the 4 year contract extension?”

Big Paul

“Have you seen that lad in the gimp outfit in with our lot, he has got more dignity than us at the moment, that’s how bad we truly are. Now get the lads ready for next year’s Donnay kits, don’t worry about a shirt for Krul or Tiote by the way.”


“AIan, is that a copy of The Mag in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?”


“Remember my money is on us to lose 4-0”

Ian Smith

“Is your name Joe? Didn’t I sack you recently? Would you like to buy some training shoes?”


“Because you have been such a good little boy this year Alan, you can have two loan signings this year!”

Paul Turnbull

“Another top battling performance today and we can talk about another long contract.”


“Ooh! imagine how much cash I could make dismantling that Southampton team Alan.” drool,drool.

Micky G

“Thanks for the Cabaye money – I lost it on black 17”


“And you are?”