When I struck the tender age of 24 last October, I was reluctantly resigned to the fact that I will never be a Newcastle United player.
A harsh and unfortunate truth reigned over me that I will never be able to help my beloved club win the FA Cup by scoring a last minute header at Wembley, or smash the perfect hat-trick past Sunderland at SJP.
No, I, like many thousands more, will continue to do my part for whatever team may be on the pitch by pouring every ounce of emotion (and cash) in to every game we play, be it from Gallowgate on a cold and wet Wednesday evening, Old Trafford on a monumental Saturday afternoon, or the comfort of my own living room on a Sunday.
For the most part I have been more than happy for this to be my role; the supporting cast, the groupie to the emotional orgy that is Newcastle United.
However, I just cannot be arsed with it anymore. I am bored. Bored of being a Newcastle supporter. I never thought I would see the day. I have been obsessed with this game and this club in the 24 years and 4 months that I have existed on this football shaped planet (see, told you I was obsessed). Now though, I feel drained, the club has sapped me of any positive outlook for the future.
The now yearly cycle of maintaining our Premier League status, offloading star players and being told everything in the garden is rosy is annoying to say the least.
Can any fan realistically see a positive future for this club? Surely there are more exciting hobbies out there? A hobby that won’t send me into a whirlwind of depression at regular intervals? A hobby that has some tangible end product?
Maybe I’m just becoming pessimistic in my old age, but I fear that unless there are drastic changes within those walls on Barrack Road, I may end up spending my weekends crocheting.