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The Newcastle United Conspiracy Theories

8 years ago

Everyone has an opinion about what is really happening in the corridors of power at Newcastle United (…in the Shirebrook Headquarters of Sports Direct, not in St James’ Park).

The lack of communication from those in power has given rise to every man and his dog developing their own theories, all based around the available facts and some wild speculation. I think it is worth exploring a few…

Alan Pardew and the 8 year contract

Starting with one of my favourites. The theory goes that AP was awarded such a long contract as Ashley’s long term plan was to sell the club, an agreement reached between MA and AP for the manager to peddle the owner’s lies up to the point of sale. Thus giving new owners the option to either carry on paying him, or sacking him and giving him a nice chunk of change to pay up his contract. This one genuinely would not surprise me.

Short-Term Cash Injections

Much is made of the amount of money seemingly NOT being spent on the playing squad, or on anything really. This theory goes that the club is ignoring traditional long-term ways of maximising revenue (advertising, merchandising, close season tours) in order to generate a short-term cash surplus from TV contract money, long-term season ticket sales with up front payment and player sales. The theory then goes on to expand that the reason behind this urgent generation of cash in the bank and ignorance of longer term strategies, points again towards a business getting ready for sale.

Lack of any form of ambition

Believe it or not, competing in cups, including the Europa league, can cost a club money or certainly only generate minimal profits. This theory goes hand in hand with short-term cash generation theory that the club are losing ambition to save outlay, again to prepare for sale.

Joe Kinnear, the pantomime villain

I think most are familiar with this theory and the reasons behind it. This is more than just a theory for me, it’s a solid fact. Mike Ashley is many things, but an idiot is not one of them, and only an idiot would actually appoint drunk uncle Joe to oversee actual transfers.

I’m sure that there are many more, and I look forward to reading other people’s comments.

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