The January transfer window is bad enough but the way Alan Pardew goes on, makes you just about lose the will to live.

Yes we all know players cost a lot of money but nobody forced Alan Pardew or Mike Ashley to get involved in management/ownership, the wages and transfer fees are what they are – the same as the tens of millions that fall out of the sky every season from the broadcasting deals.

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Pardew simplifies the transfer process

Yet nearly every time the subject of transfer crops up, Pardew feels the need to lecture us all at great length about how difficult it is to…get one over the line.

It is like he is in charge of cracking the Enigma code or on a quest to find the meaning of life.

It is a mystery to me how all these other clubs just get on with buying players instead of explaining in a very roundabout way that we’re…not.

Yes some players will be successes and others a failure, some will end up looking a bargain while others will have been a case of they definitely saw us coming.

The feeling is though that they (Ashley, Pardew, JFK, whoever) just treat us like mugs, drive our expectations so far down that some fans are even grateful when we sign some unknown 17 year old from France who we’ll never ever see play.

When asked about transfers on Friday, Alan Pardew had this to say;

“The legs are working under the water, making the calls and trying to manoeuvre a transfer that will work for us, but no success at the moment.

“No negative news though on a player going but no positive news either.

“We have made no bids for any player at this stage.”

To cut a long story short, Newcastle have done nothing and fans had better pray that nobody offers money for our players.

The end.

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January’s issue will be on sale from our numerous sellers outside St.James’ Park before the Manchester City match on Sunday. For those not going to the match THE MAG is available in all Tyneside newsagents from this (Saturday) morning.

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