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If Only Every Day Could Be Halloween at Newcastle United

7 years ago

Love or hate derby matches, what’s Joe Kinnear’s job, Alan Pardew, favourite derby goals and matches, what’s the state of Newcastle United?

In a new feature, we have asked some of our regular contributors to answer a few questions and next up is Mag columnist, Jamie Swan.

Three most important players – HBA, Cabaye and Remy. If those 3 continue to click, stay fit and on the pitch, get 25-30 league goals between them, we might have a good season. If not we have not got anybody else stepping up to win games.

Don’t You Just Love Halloween

State of Newcastle on the pitch – only describable as very good and very bad. Not much in between.

NUFC off the pitch – is like a luxury cruise liner that has been boarded by pirates. There aren’t many on deck, but the few aboard are causing bloody havoc. Insubordinates will be forced to walk the plank (Pards swabs the deck without complaint).

Pardew – is in a no win situation. Last season he was part of the problem as he couldn’t halt a slide. Nor change tactics having become well and truly stuck in a rut. That after ending the previous season fantastically well with the 4-3-3, then bizarrely abandoning it. This year, so far his selections and tactics have improved, as has the style of play – but still conceding far too many goals.

Three words to sum up the derby – Queasy, Stress, Lager

Fav derby goal – Shearer bloodied and bandaged ramming home from an indirect FK at the Leazes. Brilliant.

Favourite derby match – can only be the 5-1 Halloween special. What else could it be?

Mackems in the Conference please, or even lower down the pyramid thanks. Spud-u-like one legged retired Tuesday league will do me.

Mike Ashley has hired Joe Kinnear as his Private Dancer. Might as well as doing nowt else.

January needs to bring last summer’s reinforcements. Or as Mike Ashley will have us believe, next summer’s. A strong and mobile striker, as Cisse is our only striker and is now on the bench, a nippy second striker in the Bellamy mould, or attacking midfielder with goals, centre back please. If they can make them Brits even better.

Hand on heart, I have not got a clue where we will finish. Right now I will say 9th. Sunday night I might say 19th! Our inconsistency has got my spirits soaring and diving like a Harrier Jump jet with JFK at the controls and Jack Daniels as his co-pilot.

You can follow Jamie on Twitter @JamieSwan1

Relive Kevin Nolan’s goal (footage from the terraces) thanks to The Mag’s YouTube Channel (Click HERE to subscribe for free).
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Top Tips – NUFC Win 13/8 – Cabaye To Be Man Of The Match 10/1 – NUFC To Score In Both Halves 5/2
To view all Sunderland v Newcastle betting click HERE (Prices can fluctuate up and down)
Click HERE to get up to a free £25 matched bet to wager on the derby match.


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