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‘I’m Like A Kid Who Has Eaten His Own Bodyweight In Skittles’

8 years ago

Get in man. What a difference a couple of weeks make.

Two wins on the bounce have Newcastle breathing the clean and heady air above the mire at the right end of the table.

Take a big gulp and lap it up whilst you can, it’s been a bloody long time in coming!

Instead of the weekend being ruined, drink being taken as a medicinal cure for post-match blues, cats being kicked and slippers thrown at Match of the Day – the flipside was true. This is something to be savoured and a sense of real unbridled joy.

No longer the grumpy ogre grunting one word answers at the family, no longer avoiding all media coverage of the Footy, no more burying your head in a bottle of JD and waking up on the sofa in the wee hours with a crooked neck. Well two out of three anyway!

Newcastle win = full blown TV and social media assault. This amid sheer giddiness.

No more waiting for the Pink (Got rest its soul); straight onto the mobile, The Mag, Twitter, Facebook, Teletext, set Sky to record Football First, watch Match of the day, then back to Football First, then back on the mobile. We all know the drill.

What a mental addiction! Not forgetting Sunday either, Match of the Day (again), Sunday Sun, Sunday supplement (yes, even those pompous gets), Goals on Sunday, then an actual interest in the Sunday games. All of which would be avoided during the self-enforced media black-out, following let’s say, ‘less favourable’ results.

Indulging in so much black and white that one day, I will probably OD and be rushed to a drying out clinic, full of other twitching Geordies – high on 2 wins on the bounce.

Like a kid who has just eaten his own weight in Skittles, I am currently high as a kite floating around the house, the family will soon have to coax me down with a piñata stick and a lasso.

For that’s the beauty and the irony of loving Newcastle United. The schizophrenic existence of a Mag.

Don’t get me wrong, I am full of hell as to the whole Ashley and Kinnear fiasco, and I think I have descended into depressive states about the whole situation. But for now, however brief, let me bask in the warmth of enjoyment.

Nowt is forgiven, nor forgotten. But I am not going to feel guilty at buzzing for the lads.

Winning away at Villa and playing well brings a huge sense of (temporary) relief to the club’s persistent itching and burning problem. It doesn’t vindicate anything that has or hasn’t occurred behind the scenes, far from it. What it does is make us feel bloody good for a change.

Some managers try to act calm on the touchline and say that they don’t get too high when they win, likewise not too low when they lose. Suppose when it’s a job you can emotionally detach yourself. When it is your life, your passion, your religion, the highs send you into orbit and the lows well and truly boot you in the nuts.

Forget Ashley and JFK for the week. The cards have been dealt, albeit we knew their hands long ago. Enjoy the moment and look forward to Hull. Ashley and JFK will get theirs. Oh aye, their time will come. You cannot keep beating a good dog and expect it not to bite. The opportunity for them to influence the first team has waddled into the sunset, for now the playing staff and manager have to take the mantle. Nee choice have we?!

I think the general belief is that our first eleven starters are of good quality (though not shown enough last season). Good enough to keep well clear of the bottom pack.  But, we are only a couple of injuries to key players away from a crisis.

As written on here, the team is going to pretty much pick itself. It could be a positive if all playing top of their game, gelling more and more with each passing week. Or it could mean players bang out of form guaranteed a game. Ridiculous!

Typical Newcastle, if we had strengthened – you never know we could have been in for a terrific season. Should we have a nice steady start and we do a bit of January sale shopping again, we could still end up having a strong finish and a decent placing. This despite the regime and the lack of ambition it has shown.

On the reverse, we could have three or four injuries to key first teamer’s early doors and end up shopping in the bargain bins to save our bacon come January.

That’s how fine the balance is.

So it’s fingers crossed that HBA, Cisse, Colo or Krul don’t get injured and see where the hell we are come January.

Keep smiling, at least until Saturday anyway.


You can follow Jamie on Twitter @JamieSwan1

New issue of our magazine out now including Jamie’s excellent monthly column, available from any north east newsagents, or order single copies & subscriptions online.



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