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The Team Reflects The Manager – Is That True At Newcastle United?

8 years ago

Oh dear.

It is back- the fear and self-loathing following a spineless performance.

Actually went into the game thinking we would get spanked but thought that City would at least have to work hard for it.

We are lucky that the scoreline was not doubled.

Our lucky opposition (I say lucky as they will not have an easier game all season), couldn’t believe what they were up against last night and it really was pipe and slippers time for their lot versus our bunch of sad sacks.

The news of the Kebab bid prior to kick-off and his absence from the team-sheet, bench, bus or whatever was not good timing – but frankly has got bot all to do with last night’s result.

Anyway, you reap what you sow. Fat Ash’s only strategy over the last few years has been bidding for and unsettling players with bids way below their market value. I would call it Karma, quite honestly we are the ultimate urine takers when it comes to this sort of behaviour, only it’s not been on our doorstep so you hear less of the fall out (Lyon’s gob-sh!te owner asides).

Either way such a bid should not put the skids under a team – just a pure excuse from both the management and the players for a performance that in my eyes was as bad as Liverpool, and even worse than Sunderland.

The City players (although all excellent) had a stroll through this game with ZERO competition. The team they faced looked clueless, disinterested, disorganised, disjointed, discombobulated – or any other bleeding diss’es you can think of.

The City eleven of old and new recruits laughed and back-slapped their way past our mob as if it was a friendly. A friendly that resembled a game played between a crack Premiership side and a team that looked like recovering crack addicts.

The gulf was embarrassing. Look, I expected a bit of a shoeing – honestly, who didn’t? But to roll over and have their little tummies tickled sent my bile into nuclear meltdown.

The team on the field reflect a manger – it was a pretty terrible reflection. Unfortunately, the team on the pitch also reflects the owner’s ambitions. The complete lack of it, that is.

The tactics though were infuriatingly Pardew at his worst. Two right footers on the left, a left footer on the right. Playing players out of form and fitness – and more annoyingly, out of position.

Cisse was so isolated it was pointless playing the ball to him. Buying more strikers is not going to solve how we are playing.

The movement and passing from Tiote in particular was once again shocking but worse for me was the back line (Timmy Krul aside). Taylor and Colo were about 6 yards apart in the box, then had Debuchy and Mapou practically hugging the touchlines, leaving holes so big in the back line you could have slid the QE2 sideways through them.

Open invitations for lively forwards like Aguero but open season when they are so big that a big target-man like Dzeko was spinning in and causing havoc.

Then what about Debuchy – all the patter flying about regards the new French lads, saying that they will be better for last season and settled? Debuchy looks like a walking penalty, red card, missed tackle, weak link.

But I don’t want to just single him out as others were just as guilty. Mapou looked bang up for an early shower – though not as early as our very own Steven Taylor, whose stupidity sometimes knows no bounds. Great lad, whole-hearted, empty headed.

Then there is Coloccini. Now I am a big fan of FC, but I am from the old school of believing a Captain can have an influence on a game and the players around him, not just by playing well – but by communication and body language. The communication was non-existent and the body language displayed showed an absolute disbelief that we were not there for anything else than make up the numbers.

So having had our trousers pulled down and been spanked live on national TV, leaving us after one game at the foot of the table, players injured, players suspended – we might as well have not turned up at all. A terrible night.

I am sorry for our fans who sang their hearts out again.

We are up against it already. But the pressure has been applied from within. The blame lies firmly at Mike Ashley’s door, closely followed by Pardew. Yes, he is not getting backed – but it is up to him to motivate and put that team on the pitch regardless of how threadbare and put in a performance.

Alan Pardew said before the game that his team were, “more than ready to face City”. He also said that we gave a good account of ourselves in the game.

All I can say to that is you really are having a laugh.

The only way is up. Keep smiling.


You can follow Jamie on Twitter @JamieSwan1

Jamie also writes a column in our monthly magazine, to get a copy of our 25 years anniversary special go to any north east newsagents, or visit our online shop to buy single copies or a subscription.



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