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Playing Chicken At Newcastle United Has Its Risks

7 years ago
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Last Saturday night, the wife asked me to pop down to Asda and get a cooked chicken for our tea.

Off I toddled and when I got there they luckily still had a couple left and even better they’d already had nearly £2 knocked off because it was heading towards closing time.

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I have a bit of experience of getting value at Asda and so I knew that I only had to wait another ten minutes and they would then reduce them to next to nowt because they’d be pulling down the shutters and the cooked chickens would be getting chucked in the skips round the back. Even I have some standards….and the last time I climbed into one it was a right bugger to get out of!

Anyway, I busied myself looking at bits and pieces as the clock ticked down and the staff were tidying up around me, imagine then my surprise when with only seconds of the 10 minutes remaining and the lass with the price gun striding down the aisle…this cheeky pair of pensioners nipped in and bought the last two chickens!

How greedy is that?

Even worse was that when they heard me muttering they took great delight in revealing that only one of the chickens was for the two of them, the other one was for their bloody cats!

I must admit I did feel slightly uneasy as I drove back to my waiting fans, sorry – family, and with the family sitting around the dinner table looking very expectant with only a plate of veg each, I then started to explain how my brilliant plan had been ruined at the last second and how it was through no fault of mine…

My wife didn’t take it well and I was forced to take refuge in the pub, so there was some silver lining to the disaster.

What the silver lining will be if Newcastle get not one striker in this transfer window…well I can’t see one, can you?

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