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All Change At Newcastle United?

8 years ago

Things need to change NOW.

Top of the bill is Mike Ashley leaving town on the horse he came in on. Short-term, this obviously isn’t going to happen. So what is next on the list?

The only thing that can realistically be changed short-term is the manager – Pardew.

There is of course…dramatically increasing the playing staff with quality, but hey this is NUFC and I am talking about being realistic!

Should the axe fall on Pardew’s head – will any new appointment be celebrated?

Should that position be filled by JFK, then the answer is categorically NO.

But let us assume that our consummate professional Director of F***all–stays just that. Uncle Albert Kinnear can be left to continue concentrating all his efforts rolling around in the players’ lounge and airport bars.

This is obviously preferable to the man being let loose at the helm – again.

God, I dread the day a press conference being called to announce a new manager; only for JFK, the man with the dead badger on his head, to come wandering into an SJP Press conference to be unveiled as Caretaker manager. No doubt he would be modelling his new designer white sports jacket whose sleeves fasten at the rear, collected from the St.Nicholas boutique!

Let us also assume that our fears are realised, the worst actually does come to the worst and we do not sign anybody else this window.

Add to that, make the assumption that we lose Cabaye, and that player morale needs boosting due to form and lack of new faces.

If truth be told, Pardew should have been taken out by firing squad at the termination of the season gone. To survive the Sunderland and Liverpool games is somewhat miraculous.

There are obvious reasons he didn’t. He’s cheap, he does as the headmaster asks, never answers back, on a stupidly massive long contract, and did I mention cheap?

Questions remain though, if/when the axe falls – can we attract a manager who will impose himself on our lacklustre squad, and instil a style of player that can suit the players we have available? As opposed to the old square pegs in round holes, use the players where they should play and thus hopefully achieving maximum performance.

We are firing blanks and shipping goals. Last ten in the PL, scored 4, conceded 20. If that isn’t cause for concern, I don’t know what is?

He continues to flog a dead horse tactically, failing miserably to pick a style or shape capable of creating chances and keeping defensive discipline.

Is there anybody out there who would come in to Newcastle as it stands, with all the huge restraints and turmoil bubbling away behind the scenes?

I know the way we look at it, our club is massive, should be a prized position. Not currently.

Who would be approached? No top manager with experience would touch it with a bargepole. It would probably be another out of the Pardew mould; out of work, hungry to make a point, never get a better job – more importantly, would tow the party line. Is there anyone out there that could fit the bill and improve? I would suggest it is worth the risk.

Pardew, regardless of success, was never really wanted at SJP. Through a mixture of bloody mindedness and more importantly results – he became accepted. But now on the back of a long stretch of terrible form, it may be a case that sometimes things just turn for the worse and are irreversible. If he has lost the squad, dressing room or whatever, he has to go. The team certainly are not putting the shift in for him, that must hurt him professionally and I would imagine personally. Like any professional working role, relationship or marriage – these can just sometimes come to a natural conclusion.

I think we all know that he will not quit though, for all the previous reasons mentioned – he is at the pinnacle of his managerial career at NUFC. Regardless of flak, he is in a prestige position. He also has the safety net of the ridiculous 8 year contract agreed between himself and our myopic owner.

Now we have this ridiculous impasse of cat and mouse between the two parties. Ashley wants to chop him, but fears another court date and his wallet creaking open once more. Pardew is hanging tight like a free climber on an overhang with one strained and chalked fingertip wedged in a crevice.

Most would say we look like we have decent players on paper but in practice they are not showing any of it. It got bandied around all of last season, and pre-season this – we are supposedly too good to go down.

Do you agree with that synopsis? I don’t.

We know the problems, Christ almighty – we know the problems. But whilst Ashley owns the club, those problems will always remain.

The question is will those problems be compounded should a new face come in? Or would it just be same sh*t, different day?

With those boxes ticked, then it’s stick or twist. Better the devil you know, or gamble on the tried and untested. All I think is that we are in a shocking mess, whoever is manager (coach really) needs to make the best of what we have got to avoid the kind of season we fear and can smell looming.

Whether that is a new stooge or the existing one, we seriously, seriously need to get our backsides into gear – else the end of season table is not going to make good reading.

Surely if a new man came in (not JFK) we could not do any worse?

What would you do? One thing is for sure, something is going to have to give.

However difficult, keep smiling.


You can follow Jamie on Twitter @JamieSwan1

Jamie also writes a column in our monthly magazine, to get a copy of our 25 years anniversary special go to any north east newsagents, or visit our online shop to buy single copies or a subscription.



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