Mike Ashley Needs To Add Six Players To Shopping List

After last year’s disaster I’ve looked at how Newcastle United will have to improve on last season and in my humble opinion, these are some of the problems we must fix.

The Players

Based on last season’s goals scored, we have got to get some goals into this team or we will be relegated.

2012/13 League Goalscorers

Ba 13, Cisse 8, Cabaye 6, Ben Arfa 4, Gouffran 3, Sissoko 3, Marveaux 1, Shola 1, Bigi 1, Guti 1, Perch 1, Santon 1, Own goals 2   = 45

We’ve lost Ba (13), Probably Cabaye (6) and Perch (1) = 20 goals that we have to replace just to reach last year’s total, a year in which we finished 5th bottom.

Goal Totals Of Relegated Teams

2012/13

Wigan 47  Reading 43  Qpr 30

2011/12

Bolton 46  Blackburn 48 Wolves 40

2010/11

Brum  37  Blackpool 55  West Ham 43

2009/10

Burnley 42  Hull 34  Portsmouth  34

2008/09

Newcastle 40 Boro 28  West Brom 36

As you can see, with these relegated teams at least one of them has scored 40 goals and have been relegated each season, which only confirms my concerns that we are woefully short on goalscorers.

Mike Ashley

There will be no capital expenditure. In January Ashley was forced to spend approx £18 mill to keep us up and I would expect him to want this back. I therefore expect a top player gone such as Cabaye for £25 mill. The £7 mill surplus will be spent on a strike, just hope Bent can score 20 goals this season or we are sunk.

The Manager

If he employs the same pathetic game plan as last year he will be gone by October.

JFK

Billy Bullshi**er number 2 after Pardew and probably our manager in waiting, should really be in Cherry Knowles.

In Conclusion

We need 2 strikers, 1 winger, 1 centre half, 1 attacking midfielder (to replace Cabaye) and a back up goalkeeper.

Does anyone have faith in Billy Smart’s Circus.

God help us.

KTF

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