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Joe Kinnear Can’t Even Give Them Away!

7 years ago
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It would appear, at face value, that the Buffoon (aka laughingly as our) Director of Football, not only has difficulty getting incoming transfers ‘over the line’ but also more amazingly getting outgoing deals ‘over the line’. The Buffoon, literally, just can’t even give them away (Gosling came back form Crystal Palace with no deal done)!

Given the Buffoon’s incredible but coarse talents, in which he can contact any ‘f……’ Manager anywhere in the World, at any time of the day or night, there must be some previously unknown reason for this lack of activity and success?

Due to the shambolic PR and Communication strategies introduced by the Buffoon’s boss, it has been difficult to get to the bottom of the problem but I can now reveal the real reason for the current plight.

It is simply down to a communication blip, in which it was reported that the Buffoon would be taking a 1 week family holiday when, in fact, he has been on one long holiday, at our expense, from the day of his appointment!

I can also exclusively reveal that the true reason for Mick Harford turning down the chance to be the Buffoon’s assistant was purely footballing reasons. It was not a scouting job he had been offered but merely one where the main responsibility would be to ensure that the Buffoon’s beach towels were on the right sun loungers.

However, it is not all play for the Buffoon as I can now exclusively reveal that he has scouted two fantastically skilled Brazilian Beach footballers and is confident of getting these ‘over the line’. But only in the January transfer window!

This might have been funny if the situation at the club, for all lovers and fans of NUFC, wasn’t so serious.

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