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It’s Official, Even God Doesn’t Like Newcastle United

8 years ago

It’s often been said that Newcastle United is cursed. Well now it seems it’s official, even God doesn’t like us.

No less than ‘the man with big hands’ mouthpiece on this mortal coil (well at least in England) has stuck his crook into the debate about Wonga. The Archbishop of Canterbury has got his cassock in a right old twist.

So was last season a punishment from above for getting into bed with this ungodly company. Look at the facts and decide for yourselves brethren…

In the year of our Lord 2011/12, when we were sponsored by the not so ungodly Virgin (Mary) Money, our Righteous Crusaders from the North swept all before them, fighting the good fight and being able to enter every battle with Knights who were fit and strong and who had trained well before each battle. As such they were able to take their Crusade to foreign lands the following year in the search for the elusive Holy Grail, silverware.

Alas, the tale does not have a happy ending brothers and sisters. No sooner had it been foretold that our just cause was to be funded by a devilish money lender, than our gallant Knights took on the appearance of weak, injured halfwits who did not know how to win any battle they entered. It appeared that they had forgotten to carry out the word of the Shepherd Pardew. A year of pestilence has followed and our good flock all wonder if it is divine retribution and when this curse can be broken

I say unto you all that this curse can be broken. We should be united behind our noble warriors, if not the Shepherds who control them. Only by doing this can we be sure of not being condemned to damnation and spending eternity in the wilderness…

Sorry about that, thought I was writing a not-so best selling novel there! In case you’re wondering what planet I’m on, the gist of this is obviously to try and get everyone to move forward together. Too many fans who want the same outcome for Our Club, stabbing each other in the back at the moment. Divide and conquer will succeed if we let it.

With the announcement of the fans forum being reinstated by the club, maybe it’s a small step towards lots of opinions being heard and hopefully acted upon by Ashley and company. The rights and wrongs of Wonga and all the other mental decisions taken lately can now be voiced at an appropriate time.

Let’s spend the time when watching the lads by giving them support that can make a difference in every game, home and away. Some of our squad may not be up to the task, but as long as they wear that shirt, I for one will support them.

Support the team, not the regime.


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