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Duties Of Assistant Director Of Football Revealed…

8 years ago

A few years ago while working in Bahrain we had to hire an aerial rigger, someone capable of climbing up antennas and replacing cables, connectors, the odd antenna. Things like that.

Abbas had decided that his knees couldn’t last much longer so he retired to his date farm and that was the last we saw of him.

‘Here’s the car keys son…’

Now, one of the things that you never get used to in the Middle  East is the recruitment process.

Every Middle East country is on a Nationalisation drive and has been for many years.

Nationalisation, from their point of view, refers to the gainful employment of their own countrymen (or Nationals) so that they can earn money and contribute to the economic development of the motherland. A side effect of this is that it reduces the number of ex-patriates in the country.

Unfortunately, the hiring criteria have less to do with having suitable qualifications or experience, and more to do with where your uncle / brother / father works.

This goes a long way to explaining why the region is in such a mess.

Ideally the successful candidate would have a mechanical aptitude and be able to climb ladders. Pretty basic stuff.

So – we prepared a Job Description, Basic Experience and Qualification requirements, submitted them to HR and sat back and waited for the notice to interview.

A day later we were told that an interview was not required, they had employed a replacement and he was ready to start.

Turns out our new rigger had chronic arthritis in his hands and was afraid of heights. But on the plus side his Uncle worked in Admin and his cousin was Head of Training.

In my book this seems only marginally worse than the latest revelation in the Express that one of Mick Harford’s responsibilities, had he lacked the ambition to get a real job, would have been to drive JFK up and down the motorway.

Do we actually have a Director of Football who apart from his terminal detachment from reality and inability to keep his mouth shut, doesn’t drive either?

Maybe he just chooses not to drive, possibly to minimise the stress following his heart op. If that’s the case I can’t help thinking he’s in the wrong job.

Think of the career progression possibilities that Harford is passing up. Driving Miss Daisy, then on to maybe polishing the boots or delivering the pies, or even running around the training centre delivering messages to Pards.

How could he possibly resist that temptation?

So –  how much do you reckon  the Assistant to the Director of Football would get?

We really are heading full pelt towards our own TV SitCom.


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