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Does Anybody Remember Those End Of Season ‘Putting Things Right’ Talks Between Ashley, Llambias & Pardew?

8 years ago
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It might have escaped a lot of people’s memories but cast your mind back to the end of the last season.

There was much talk of meetings between Mike Ashley, Derek Llambias, Graham Carr and Alan Pardew as last season closed, with Ashley’s friendly press happily reporting how everybody inside St.James’ Park was determined to put things right…make sure this would never happen again…new plan to take things forward…blueprint for success and so on and so forth.

It’s funny how that subservient press is now a bit quiet on those great plans despite being so keen to blow Ashley’s trumpet at the time…that phrase inadvertently conjuring up a not so pleasant mental image!

So anyway, when Mike, Derek, Graham and Alan met up, do you think they left the meeting with handshakes and much backslapping after (Mike Ashley telling them) agreeing the following;

We’ll bring that idiot back who was a disaster as a manager and who even finds it hard to lie straight in bed

Derek, you are going to be sacked (or resign, whatever you want to believe)

Alan, just to make sure you know exactly where your place is, you will be reporting to Joe Kinnear, that bloke who has forgotten more about (exactly what he has and hasn’t done in) football than you’ve had hot jellied eels

Graham, the scouting seems to be the only thing working well so now instead of speaking direct to me, you will have to ask JFK for permission to speak and then he decides what is passed on to me

By the way Graham, there’s a top notch scouting expert that Joe happens to know, so if it all gets a bit too much Mickey Harford will be happy to step in for you

We all agree that signing players is a lot of hard work, so we all need a good summer’s rest on that front and we’ll look at it again in September when we’re all refreshed

Any Questions?

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