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Any More Mike Ashley Induced Shocks And Newcastle United Could Flatline

9 years ago

The old housewives tale is that eating cheese before bedtime will lead to having nightmares.

Just how much cheese have we all collectively guzzled over the last five years or so because ya’ bugger I am struggling to rouse from mine.

I am not talking about being chased down the street naked by wolves whilst running in treacle, or any other lucid night terror – I am talking about NUFC’s never ending  trip down Elm Street.

Rotund Michael Ashley has enveloped the City with a nightmarish spell that Frederick Krueger would be tipping  his singed hat to.

What is the next horror that the Geordie Nation is going to suffer at the hands of our very own puppet master?

There is only one man in charge at NUFC, regardless of how it’s dressed up – or how big JFK’s gob is, and it’s Fatty Arbuckle himself.

He signs the cheques, sanctions player purchases, player sales, implements plans and strategies of moving the club forward. He is the man in control of the club and the club’s future.

Unfortunately, whilst we can’t slap ourselves out of the nightmare he induced, he cannot be woken from his slumber. The kind of sleep and lethargy that a two toed sloth would be proud of, only climbing down out of his tree once a month for a dump.

The problem is that this lethargy is down to his boredom and lack of care for a toy he bought on a whim that has passed its sell by date in his affections.

That toy is our beloved Newcastle United. Big Problem.

Whilst probably every proud Geordie would kill to be in his position (that’s not me suggesting a military coup or assassination), merely that if you have long passed your best on the pitch – you can’t dream of being a footballer and banging them in  for the Toon anymore. The next dream would be running the club and turning it into the black and white unstoppable-success-snowball that we all know it can be.

If you don’t, I tell you what – I would love it!

They talk about sleeping giants in football circles. Could we be classed as a sleeping giant still? Not so much asleep as slipping into a coma under Ashley. There are still vital signs but any more major shocks could see the club flatline.

He has to come around and smell the coffee. He has to realise that the fans and life blood of the club are being poisoned and forced away from their own club by his (lack of) actions.

If he doesn’t want to do it, so be it – let somebody else.

If he wants to stick with the club and earn his Geordie dollars out of the club, so be it. But if that is the case then he has to step up to the plate and run the club correctly.

I am sick to death of what is going down at Gallowgate. Not as sick though as Mike Ashley is making our club.

Come on man FFS – SORT IT OUT!

Smiling through gritted teeth.


Jamie also has his own blog which you can visit here or follow him on twitter @JamieSwan1

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