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Our New Manager..Sorry, Director Of Football, Is Great Says Steven Taylor

7 years ago
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Is this really happening? Really? It’s not a wind up? Honestly, I don’t know why any of us are surprised.

I’ll whisper, so nobody hears me, I was actually starting to have a bit faith in Ashley. He stuck with Pardew instead of sacking him at the first sign of trouble, got the best sponsorship deal for the club, maybe not for Papiss Cisse but in terms of finance I can almost guarantee it was the best offer on the table.

We’ve got good players in the squad, granted they underachieved last season, but I had genuine hope that things would be much better this time round.

Colo seems to be staying at least another year, less games next season with the absence of Europe and hopefully a bigger squad…….etc, etc. So, for me, there seemed to be plenty to be optimism about! Until Joe Kinnear popped up on Sky and told the whole country we’d dropped a bollock again and hired him as Director Of Football.

Why, in the name of all that is holy, would you pluck a man whose accolades only exist in his own tiny deluded little mind, from the football wilderness and place him in authority over your manager and chief scout…only Mike Ashley!

JFK claims he’ll be dealing with transfer policy and style of play!! Wimbledon anyone!  They were worse to watch that any Big Sam team I’ve had the displeasure of witnessing. I shudder to think what the football, or lack of, will be like at SJP next season, it’s shaping up to be another relegation campaign and I fear we may not get out of this one.

So, 48 hours or so after Joe stuttered, stammered and mis-pronounced his way through an interview telling the world he was back in business, the club destroyed our hopes that this was just the ridiculous ramblings of a mad man and confirmed his appointment.

I believe a lot can be made of the reaction to any appointment in football; this one has been met near and far by total bemusement. Players past and present questioning the appointment, criticising JFK’s lack of respect for fans and players alike. As for the fans, well, gobsmacked sums it up nicely I think.

Hold on a second, it seems all is not lost for JFK on the support front, enter local hero, Steven ‘’Beat my chest then play like sh**e’ Taylor! Apparently; Joe is a fantastic manager, did a great job last time, had us in a great league position (4 points above the drop zone when he left if I am not mistaken) and we only hit the skids when he suffered his heart attack and was forced to leave! Read into that what you will but it sounds to me that there are 2 possible reasons for this show of support.

Firstly, Taylor is as deluded as Kinnear…

Or secondly, Taylor suspects what many of us do, that Kinnear’s title will turn from Director of Football to Manager, probably sooner rather than later, so he’s making a claim for a guaranteed start by hailing Kinnear as the new messiah! Either way, he’d be best suited shutting up and concentrating on what he’s paid for.

Unfortunately, the simple fact remains that this will cause divides in the camp, already, between starting and finishing this article, news broke that Ashley’s old pet Llambias, or ‘Lambayzee’ to use JFK’s terminology, has resigned. Even he can’t believe it! As well as this there are rumours that we’ve pulled the plug on signing Douglas because Kinnear doesn’t fancy him, he’s got his eye on other defenders apparently, an instant smack in the teeth for Graham Carr. What next – The return of Titus?

Well, the season is only a couple of months away, so, please make sure all trays are secured and your seat is returned to it’s upright position, this could get bumpy!

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