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Newcastle United’s Summer Transfer Plan Revealed

9 years ago

Now the dust has settled on yet another eventful season at St.James’ Park, how ready will Newcastle United be to deal with the challenges of next season?

We look ahead to what we can expect over the summer and this is what our ‘insider’ information has revealed.

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Here is our lucky 13 point guide –

  1. Newcastle linked with every professional player in the northern hemisphere during June.
  2. Into July and still haven’t bought anyone.
  3. Club put out info via friendly journalists that they won’t be held to ransom…
  4. All other Premier League clubs buying players.
  5. Alan Pardew says so difficult to get players over the line….
  6. Pardew says Shola, Gosling, Williamson and Obertan are flying in training.
  7. Pardew says kids have really come on over the Summer (when they have been lying on a beach).
  8. Pardew says our Purple players (the ones that haven’t been sold) are all back at their best and never been fitter.
  9. Newcastle end up buying a couple of players who you’ve never heard of unless you watch all the European leagues via a massive satellite dish on your roof.
  10. However, the two players Newcastle buy may not be the ones we desperately needed but they were available at a great price that couldn’t be missed.
  11. Season starts and only a couple of injuries in key positions mean Newcastle have to play Williamson/Shola/Gosling/Obertan/whoever else is rubbish and still at the club due to not buying players.
  12. Pardew says he can’t believe Newcastle’s terrible luck with injuries…..
  13. The end!



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