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Newcastle United’s Cunning Summer Transfer Plan

7 years ago

The appointment of Joe Kinnear surprised a few(!!!) people today and as well as making a right mess of actually managing the team back in the relegation season, JFK showed a similar level of ability in front of the cameras.

JFK Spotted This Promising Youngster At York Races Yesterday

While we wait to see if he can repeat his previous Newcastle United managerial success in his new role, Kinnear has shown that he has lost none of his talent in front of the cameras…well at least in terms of once he starts talking there is no stopping him. One small relief for Alan Pardew is that now he won’t need to be commenting on every single thing that happens at the club because they’ve brought in this clown.

Read the following and any worries you had about the Summer transfer window will simply disappear…

“I am going to assess the transfer kitty with Mike (Ashley) next week. I’ll sit down with Alan (Pardew) first and once I find out what needs to be shifted out of the club.

Maybe we can get some money back, if we need to shift four or five of them then so be it.

We can then look at targets and present a business plan to Mike to say ‘This is what it is going to cost, it will make us a better team and will put us in the top ten.”

So while all of these idiots at other clubs have been agreeing deals with new signings and grafting every minute to set in motion others that will be finalised in the coming weeks, Newcastle have been doing…nothing?

So those of you who were blindly hoping that our elite team of negotiators were hard at it behind the scenes may be slightly less optimistic now.

If you are generous and hope that by this time next week the meetings Kinnear refers to will have taken place and an agreed transfer ‘strategy’ put in place, thirty five days will already have passed since the final match of last season.

From that point there will be only fifty five days until the Premier League kicks off again.

How we’ll laugh when the four or five Joe identifies as ‘need to be shifted’ are Ben Arfa, Cabaye, Krul, Coloccini and Sissoko!


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