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Shola Or Jonas For Newcastle United? – You Decide

8 years ago
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I have previously expressed my displeasure with the fact that we often have to actually start matches with the likes of Mike Williamson, Danny Simpson or occasionally, James Perch, in the line-up.

I’m sure they are nice enough guys and visit their grans on a regular basis but are they really good enough for a team shooting for Europe? Admittedly, at the moment, shooting high!

One thinks perhaps not.

This to me is like going to a bank robbery armed with a rather strongly worded note…and nothing else.

It may seem like a good idea at the time, but it’s never going to work.

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Also, I’m not a fan of Goofy Ron, or whatever his name is.

He just strikes me as being Obertan’s MiniMe.

Run Run Run Run Run, OOOPS!

Some of you may argue that he once scored a goal, and another time he crossed to someone who knows someone who scored a goal, but as fans aren’t we within our rights to expect a little more?

So, as an alternative, alternative assessment, having watched that farce that was generously referred to as a football match, I thought I’d ask a question instead.

Who would you rather have in the team – Shola or Jonas?

Each has his strengths and each his weaknesses.

Each has his own equally deluded band of merry followers.

Jonas for example runs around like a mental puppy.

Shola is quite tall.

Jonas falls over a lot.

Shola falls over a lot.

Jonas has developed his own style, unlike any other player in the league where, even when he’s standing in line at ASDA he can lean into another customer, throw himself to the ground and get a foul. Sometimes.

Shola falls over a lot.

Shola has created his own special brand of second touch. Unique in its approach it rarely actually involves the ball. In fact it is more likely to involve his face, and the turf.

Jonas, like David Beckham, only has one foot. Unlike Beckham, the one he’s got isn’t that good.

I have resisted the temptation to refer to Shola’s Mackem-Slaying reputation because, well, basically he was rubbish.

So. Big match. Input required. You get to decide who contributes. Will it be Shola or will it be Jonas? End of article.

As a bit of a PS – I do consider myself a fairly intelligent person but there is just no excuse for what I’m about to tell you.

On Sunday the Kick-off was at midday.

Out here in Abu Dhabi that’s 3pm.

Unable to get off work early (we work Sundays here) the better half recorded the game for me.

I managed to get a decent live text feed that kept me up to date until the 60th minute.

Then something happened and I actually had to do some work, which I don’t have to tell you, was rather annoying.

I got home half an hour after the match had finished and immediately fast forwarded to 60 minutes.

Fast forwarding past throw ins, replays etc, with 10 minutes left we were 2 down.

At that point I pressed play and watched it real time.

Somewhere in the back of my mind the logic was, that watching the replay at a slower speed would somehow give us more time to catch up.

And we all know how that went.

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