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Newcastle v Sunderland – Two Bald Men Fighting Over A Comb?

8 years ago
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How miserable must it be to be a sunderland supporter…and I don’t mean a taxpayer.

I mean people who buy the replica shirts and in some cases actually attend the matches. (I’m told such a person actually exists.) Can you imagine how crap that must be?

Three of their (best) players are Geordies and their whole team lives in our city because theirs is so awful.

(Top Tips – Steven Taylor To Score A Goal 21/2 – Di Canio Not To Shake Hands With Pardew At Full-Time 4/1 – Tiote To Get First Card Of Match 12/1)

They have an idiot owner who doesn’t understand football yet continues to chuck money at the problem and appoint numpties, hoping it will resolve itself. The harsh reality is that they’ve gone through 3 managers and £100M to remain a lower mid-table side. I genuinely despair for our cousins regarding their new right winger.

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Honestly, a fascist managing a team whose supporters gave their lives fighting for democracy, looks like the owner has come up Short with that appointment!  (eh, eh?) But why poke fun at their new gaffer when golden oldies (such as their crap attendances and awful league position) are still guaranteed to make them spit out their cheesy chips and blue pop with rage?

Their recent record against their biggest rivals (who they will be so quick to tell you they are better than) is so poor that in my entire lifetime I can only remember them beating us 3 times (All horrible flukes).

In the last 21 years they’ve only ever been given one proper battering. Every other time we’ve either been too busy negotiating Europe to give them anything more than a dismissive backhand. or unbelievable bad luck has seen us plagued by injuries or them sneak a flukey equalizer –after we’ve battled valiantly with 10 men for an hour because of a totally unwarranted red card for us…

Not a day goes by that I don’t count myself lucky to be born a Geordie. Can you imagine being so unambitious that you consider being able to declare yourself “North East Top Dogs” an achievement. I could roll out the bald men fighting over a comb cliché.

I sometimes do worry that one day we’ll go too far and ridicule them to the point where they pack it in and then what? We could fight with the smoggies for the comb but they’d probably win given that they’ve probably all grown an extra pair of arms since we last saw them. The mackems will always manage to convince themselves they’re our great and worthy opponents just in time to face us. Will they never learn?!

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Top Tips – Cisse To Score First Goal 17/4NUFC To Win 20/21Any Goalkeeper To Be Man Of The Match 16/1

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