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‘Arry Redknapp – Don’t You Just Love Him?

9 years ago

Who Manages Them?
Twitching and blinking through TV interviews, new Rangers manager Harry Redknapp is well loved down south but looks extremely dodgy to us, highlighting one of the main differences between Northern and Southern England.

They love their barrow boys down there, dodging and weaving, ducking and diving, anything to earn a few bob, we prefer someone not to steal your Grandmother’s purse as he helps her across the road.

Redknapp was out of work and supposedly just about to become manager of the Ukraine when QPR owner Tony Fernandes fired grumpy boss Mark Hughes and installed ‘Arry in the QPR hot seat. “Harry is a special manager. If he wasn’t available, I’d probably have persevered with Mark,” said Fernandes. “Triffic,” said Redknapp.

It is hard to believe that less than a year ago, saggy faced Harry was nailed on for a Champions League spot with Spurs, then the England job by the start of the European Championships and singing GIVE ME A LONDON GIRL EVERY TIME at the opening ceremony of the London Olympics in July.

Well ‘Arry, now you know that no matter how much you kiss the feet of News International, those same feet are always looking at your balls and thinking “I’m kicking them in a minute.” Tottenham’s 2011/12 season imploded as their manager openly courted the FA for England job, Redknapp’s reputation crumbled as the courts were told that his dog had its own bank account that he knew nothing about and before you know it he’s scratching around looking for millions to manage anyone, anywhere, no matter how bad they are.

Now Redknapp is at QPR, who will probably stay up this season and be in administration in two years time and his dog is set to become the Governor of the Bank of England after the impressive way it set up its own tax free Monaco bank account.

Who Have We Seen Before:

We’ve seen KieronDyer before, on the pitch at St James Park in an injury hit stay in TOON and in the nightclubs of Newcastle where his injuries never stopped his dancing feet. As a TOON player of 190 appearances, Dyer was brilliant on his day and a huge miss to the team when he wasn’t playing but we generally learned to live without him the longer he was here and by the time his 2007 departure came, we were more surprised when he played than when he was injured.

A Special mention For: 

Bizarrely, it is only two months since Bobby Zamora told the Evening Standard that he hasn’t given up hope of playing for England. Zamora said, “obviously I know I’m still in the picture,” as England Manager Roy Hodgson has, “been in contact recently to let him know he is still being considered.”

It is thought Hodgson has also contacted Peter Shilton to see if he has still got his gloves and John Terry to see if he’s interested in being the new England Race Relations Officer. Zamora is currently injured and won’t play today, neither will injured summer signing Park Ji-Sung. Park admitted to drinking juice made from boiled frogs to build up his physique to cope with the rigorous Premier League when he first signed for Manyoo.

The Campaign group ‘Frogs Friends’ was forced to release a statement stating that essence of frog had no health benefits to athletes and asked Park to front their future awareness campaigns. Many footballers now front public health campaigns, Mario Balotelli is a spokesperson for firework safety, Barcelona currently support an anti-smoking campaign called ‘Quit Smoking With Barca’ and Lee Cattermole promotes ‘If You See It, Kick It’, talentless planks trying to make a living endangering the legs of professional athletes.

Are We Going To Win?                

One player who will play for QPR is Adel Taarabt, probably their only player worth watching for football reasons, as opposed to Djibril Cisse who is worth watching for looking like Darth Vader on a night in London during the week. We’ll win if we stop Taarabt from playing. In our last outing we gave Silva, Nasri, Toure, Aguero and Tevez the freedom of SJP for the first half an hour of the Man City game and we can’t afford to do the same thing with Taarabt. Fair enough Man City had five top players we had to mark and that isn’t easy, cutting our bizarre tactical approach of ‘letting them have the ball’ some slack. QPR don’t have that luxury.

If we mark their only decent player out of the game then we have a better chance of winning. Let’s make sure we do.

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