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Newcastle United’s Players – Hot or Not?!!

8 years ago
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In the new issue of The Mag there is a meeting of many minds but one unusual article is one offered by regular contributor Jason Rohan and his teenage daughter Tina, let Jason begin to explain….

One of the perils of being a responsible father to a teenage girl is having to negotiate the minefield of pubescent hormones in the house.

I used to imagine opening the front door to find a spotty-faced wretch on the step and saying to my daughter, “You’re not going out with that.” Or, upon speaking to the oik in question, “If I catch you doing anything you shouldn’t with my daughter, where can I shoot you? Crotch, face or kneeling in a shallow grave?”

Fortunately, I haven’t had to deal with either scenario just yet but I have had to face teenage crushes on members of the Newcastle United playing squad. (File this alongside Dina-Marie Hiller, the German lass with the Alan Pardew fixation who went public with her love for our silver fox on YouTube last month.) This, I can live with, as the chances of, say, Shane Ferguson popping in to borrow a cup of sugar are pretty slim.

The funny thing is that my missus had a thing for Steve Harper, over ten years ago, and now the teenager’s drooling over Tim Krul, so like mother like daughter. On the plus side, if your kid has to have a crush on a professional footballer, then thank God it’s aNewcastleplayer and not one of the alternatives.

Finally, since our esteemed editor is always keen to widen our readership to include younger fans, I asked my daughter to write a piece for The Mag. You’ll find it below.

Jason Rohan

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TIME TO RATE THE LADS

As a teenage girl, along with my sisters and friends, I like to check out guys on TV and rate them out of 10 on their looks.

Most footballers and sportsmen get at least a 1, for the rippling six-packs, and an extra mark if they play for The Toon.

Top of my list by far though, from Newcastle, has got to be… (drum roll please…) Tim Krul. I absolutely love this guy! He’s tall, muscular, manly, and that longish, floppy hair, not to mention his shot-stopping skills… swoon… I would give Timmy 10+.

My friends think I’m mad but let’s face it: Tim or Justin Bieber? That’s just what I thought. One of my friends (who is a huge Bieber fan) showed her mum a picture of Tim and another of Bieber and asked her which one she liked better. Her mum immediately pointed at Tim and said, “That one. He’s more of a man than this boy!”, I couldn’t stop laughing for about five minutes.

Of course, my younger sister (aged 10) thinks entirely differently and has Captain Fabulous as her top man. The curly hair is a given but, apart from that, I don’t see how he’s hot, so Colo gets a 3 from me.

My youngest sibling (aged four) is deluded into loving Gutierrez, mainly because he ‘transforms’ into Spiderman. I guess it’s better than Robin van Persie though, who was her previous crush, because at least he plays for us. I’d have to rate Jonas as a 2 though – one mark for playing for Newcastle, the other for the six-pack.

Tina Rohan

(read the full article in the new issue)

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