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Andy Carroll ‘Wiping’ The Smile Off Liverpool Faces?

8 years ago
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Andy Carroll talk just won’t go away, will it? Now he’s apparently knocked back a loan move to West Ham with a guaranteed transfer if they stay up (Fat Sam would absolutely love that, blootering the ball up for Andy in the most hideous, unrepentant God awful display of route one ‘football’ the Premier League has seen since Wimbledon were blessedly finally removed).

Andy’s hanging on, you see, for the materialisation of a do-able deal that could send him back to St James’ Park. From Newcastle though, there’s nothing really to be said. The offer went in and they didn’t want to know. Alan Pardew has offered the opinion that Liverpool should ‘wipe their nose and move on’ and I am thoroughly intrigued as to whether that’s a euphemism, and he actually wants to say ‘wipe your arse’. ‘Go on Brendan, wipe your arse with Andy Carroll’, would look great on a Chronicle back page.

Anyway, what do people generally want out of this? I wonder if the overwhelming temptation to thoroughly and hilariously rip Liverpool off is guiding some people’s judgement? The marvellous thought of paying £13 million for a player we sold 18 months ago for thirty-sodding-five-million is just too good to let go, and it may be causing some people to overlook whether Carroll would work as a born again magpie.

Personally, I do have faith. I would say that, at the minute, I would rather have any combination of Ba, Cisse and Ben Arfa up front. What is painfully clear though, is that we need another striker, as the exits of Best and Lovenkrands have left only the Big Sho as back up, which is a must for the sunderland games but not ideal for the other 36 matches.

We also looked a bit toothless from corners last year and there is no one quite like Andy for the old towering powerful headers. The main reason I have faith though, is because our manager clearly wants Carroll and feels he can add to the squad, and the people involved in improving our squad these last 18 months have an impeccable record. If they can see a way Carroll can fit in alongside the Dembas, that’s alright by me and I’m not going to question the wisdom of someone much better than me at being wise.

It looks like this is set to be one of those ridiculous protracted transfer window deals that becomes public knowledge early on but trails on unsettled for the whole summer, with false stories of hope at the existing club and silly rumours of transfers to an absurd third party before the player finally moves to the club everyone knew would get him at 3 minutes to 12 on the night of the window closing.

The situations with Modric and Van Persie are both set to follow this pattern before they end up at Real Madrid and Man City respectively.

I hope there’s a plan B, because Liverpool will surely feel less stupid if they can send him anywhere else, but I wouldn’t bet against Andy Carroll being back up this way for September.

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