After all the money Michael Owen has picked up for very little return, fans of Newcastle and seemingly every other club in the Premier League are now at least getting a laugh at his expense.

Michael Owen asked his followers on twitter to ask him questions and he’ll answer the best of them…with such a high opinion of himself, never for one minute did little Michael expect what he’d actually get.

Almost every ‘question’ has basically become a competition to see who can have the biggest laugh at his expense….

Where do you get your tickets from for the match? I see you every week and they’re good seats in the crowd.

Do you know we called you Messi because we didn’t want to get caught 1 on 1 with you… In a conversation? (left by somebody claiming to be Ji Sung Park)

Did you ever think you’re just like Liverpool? Good back in the day but now finding it really hard just to play football.

Which stadium has the most comfortable bench?

If you cross breed a cat with a goldfish how long is it before you realise your career ended 6 years ago?

Our tea lady needs a holiday, can you cover? There is little to no sitting down involved though, will that be a problem? (Somebody pretending to be Alan Pardew)

I’m expecting a parcel on Thursday, would you be able to sit in for me while I’m out? I have Racing UK & ATR & my sofa’s leather?

Should more footballers support the ailing UK print industry by commissioning glossy promotional brochures?

Jessie J said “it’s not about the money”. Agree or Disagree?

Out of all the grounds you’ve played in around the world which one has the most comfortable benches!?

Are you really as boring as your public perception?

In the average season how long do you spend pulling splinters out your arse?

If a tree falls in the wood, do you rush into the forest and carve a bench out of the tree?

Do you realise that you are the only player in history to score winner for nufc v safc and yet still be despised by the fans? (Anthony Dent)

Instead of starting this topic, why didn’t you just punch yourself in the face? It’d have been more rewarding for you. (Steven Mole)

Are realising that this wasn’t such a good idea yet?

You don’t need to be on Twitter to view all of the ‘questions’, just search #askmowen on Google/Yahoo etc and you will then be able to read them all.

It will almost make you feel sorry for him…not!

If you need inspiration for a birthday (or any kind of) present why not get them the new DVD, or something equally class from The Mag’s Amazon Store, or why not treat yourself!

  • David brown

    sorry for him you have to be JOKING hate that man

  • Laiholh

    My question is why did Michael Owen kept injuring himself easier than others at every club he played? If he knows he is easily injured why didn’t he change position such as central midfielder or winger? Did he can play only as striker with right foot?

  • Porciestreet

    Dispicable little grasping git. 

  • Porciestreet

    if he had 10 lifetimes,he could never repay Newcastle United.

  • Archie Brand

    So the general concensus is that Owen used to injure himslef deliberately so that he didnt have to play?

    I’m not a fan but cheap shots are just that. At Liverpool he scored one every other game and at Real, Toon and Man U he averaged better than one in 3.

    To put it in  perspective – Shola has scored 1 in 5 and he’s a hero, Best scored  less than one in 4 and he was “mint”.

    As for the cracks about the glossy brochure – he went straight from Newcastle to Man U (1 in 3).

    Parasite? Is that what we said about our “stars” who were on 50 and 60K a week in the Championship?

    Yes – maybe he was a bit injury prone (does Steven Taylor ring a bell) and maybe his best years are behind him – it happens to everyone, but its not as if he’s been knackered and crap on purpose.

    It’s amazing how brave people become when they  are hiding behind a false name and an IP address

    • Afakename

      Your wrong

      • Mkeats555

        Sounds spot on to me pal. Try defending him then if you think he’s wrong.

    • Moroc

      It wasn’t because he was injured that he’s so roundly disliked – it’s the way that he never played like he cared in our relegation season. He knew his contract was up, and he quite simply couldn’t be bothered. As club captain he should have been running through brick walls for the cause, when did you ever see him do that? His lack of commitment to the club was shocking. Every summer he was linked with a move away, did he ever come out and say he wanted to stay? He displayed utter contempt for the club, the captain’s armband and the fans throughout his tenure.

      As for cheap shots, he’s taken numerous at Newcastle and the fans since he left, via Twitter, and thinly veiled digs in interviews, infamously stating “I’ve tried playing every week at a small club, I didn’t enjoy it”. Ignoring the obvious disrespect, it’s a blatant lie considering he was only ever fit for around 30% of the games we played during his contract.

    • Lloyd

      Shola is not “a hero” he’s terrible. I’m a Newcastle fan and have never thought much of Shola.

      • Tone Army

        Shola has matured into a far better player in recent years, I have never thought he was “terrible” but I never understood why we kept him for so long. I feel totaly different these days however, I would be sad to see him leave at this stage, he has been a great servant to the club, he is a good level headed role model for the youth to look upto & some of his cameo appearances last season were quality.

    • Tone Army

      Hiding behind false names and IP’s my arse, if I ever got the chance I would tell him to his face why I hate the man, really he needs to know cos it seems he is oblivious to reality in his little bubble.

      Moroc puts it perfectly there in his response, anyone who does not think that is a fair description of his time on tyneside is either blind or …. Michael Owen.

    • shut up, best mint??? shola is only a derby hero. least steven taylor has has had passion and gave 100% every game. If your a geordie and you think we should all like owen your a idiot. i mean the guy had no passon to play for the mags

    • Paul Soulsby

      Well I never hide behind a false name, Owen is roundly despised for a piss poor attitude and a demeanour that suggested he was doing us all a great favour by taking 134K a week for his pension fund, mostly for sitting on his arse back hyem watching the racing. As for the lads on big dough in The Championship, well from what I remember thats where the recovery started, Colo, Nolan and co aren’t in the same league as shysters like Owen, Viduka, Geremi, Duff and Martins. As for him not injuring himself on purpose, no he didn’t, what he did do was go to the World Cup on the back of half an hours club football in the previous five months, when he was plainly not fit enough, he himself has said with hindsight he should not have gone. Consequently he never kicked a ball in the first 35 league games the following season, he was finished as a player on New Years Eve 2005. Fortunately he secured a “free” to manyoo and earned a title winners medal as an impact sub on the back of one game and 10 sub appearances, adding up to less than 4 hours football in  total. The man is totally lacking in self awareness, but he’s rich, so he doesn’t give a flying one.

    • Trippynet

      Injuries aren’t a problem. It’s the fact that he joined Newcastle for all the wrong reasons and completely lost interest as time progressed. In our relegation year, we needed our better players to really step forward and put the effort in (look at Wigan this year for the results this can produce). Instead, Owen (as captain) trudged around with the absolute attitude of someone who couldn’t give a shit. He put bugger all effort in and was an affront to the fans who’d paid millions of pounds to line his pockets with. Then the second we got relegated, he was the first person to exercise his release clause and piss off on a free transfer.

  • Tina

    God has punished him for us

  • Lintonlad

    When he arrived at St James I was delighted – the dream team of Shearer and Owen, what could go wrong?  In retrospect, it’s clear that he came because we were the only ones daft enough to pay the wages for the ultimate trophy signing. 
    He could still do a good job in the Champonship if he stayed fit and if he’d take the drop in wages (a big “if”).  Keegan got the best out of him, playing behind Martins and Viduka where he didn’t need the pace that he had lost.

  • Roscoe64

    Are you and Shearer still best mates would be my question,did’nt Shearer play a big part in Owen joining us?.He then went on to let the big man down too.

  • Dave Green

    You missed another good one: Do you feel a great affinity with Bradley Wiggins, who has also won a championship while sitting down?