Joey Barton has revealed that he will be releasing an autobiography which is being ghost-written by a friend, or maybe by a ghost, which would be a book I’d really like to see. Though Joseph hasn’t revealed as yet whether his book will be serialised on Twitter.

I wonder how long this has been in the planning but at least he will have plenty time to devote to the book as he is likely to carry something approaching a ten match ban into the season. This follows his sending off against Manchester City and general bad behaviour afterwards.

The FA are also looking into his comments on Twitter when instead of thanking his lucky stars he hadn’t sent QPR down with his sending off, he instead chose to launch the following attack on Alan Shearer for daring to comment that,:“He’ll (Barton) never calm down and he’ll never change”.

“Shearers still on my case…”I know I f*cked up Alan, thanks for stating the obvious”.

“Whilst were both stating the obvious about each other, can I just say for the record what a great player u were. Well better me…”.

“But I have a better hair(which is not hard), wear well better shirts on TV and have a personality(something u lack)”.

“I really don’t like that prick, in fact I honestly despise him… Goodnight”.

“I’d take it off Hansen and @GaryLineker but not from that bell, same fella that stamped on Neil Lennon,then threatened FA if they banned him”,

“…That he would retire from international football. No sorry, not having him, never have. Selfish, boring man him. He can do one…”.

“My favourite memory of him though is when he dropped his spuds when Keano put it on him. Goodnight Al, sleep well matey….”.

“With that my #shearerrant is over… Goodnight all xxxxxx”.

Even Gary Lineker was subjected to a rant the following day with Barton threatening to reveal Lineker’s ‘skeletons’ because he had the temerity to also question Joseph’s behaviour.

Using Twitter, Barton has asked people what they want included in his book and one fan asked: “What went on in the NUFC dressing room after we were relegated and the pre-season that followed”, and Barton replied: “That be in there”.

At times Barton might get some undeserved criticism as well but honestly, he goes well out of his way to attract it!

What Joey’s biography will be called has not been revealed but early front runners are rumoured to be, ‘I didn’t start it…’, ‘It’s not my fault it was him’, or ‘I’m an intellectual me like’.

Any suggestions?