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Papiss Cisse – As Feared As Best, As Quick As Shola!

8 years ago
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Thanks to Mag website visitor James Curtis for tipping us off about some amusing ‘statistics’ on Papiss Cisse.

At website Goal.com they claim to have hundreds of ‘local experts worldwide’ who rate players, on what they see with their eyes rather than any kind of statistics.

When you see what they have to say about Cisse I think you’ll see how they don’t let facts get in the way of their ratings!

This is how they rate Papiss Cisse (out of 10) –

Diving – 3

Heading – 6.5

Shooting – 7

Work Rate – 5.5

Fear Factor – 6

Killer Instinct – 7.5

Speed – 6.5

I think obviously their ‘local expert’ for us must be  a mackem if this is how they rate somebody who has scored 10 goals in 9 matches for his new club and including his earlier Freiburg strikes he has a very average(!) record of 19 in 26 matches this season.

When we looked at how they rated our other players it became quite bizarre; Best and Shola both have a ‘fear factor’ of 6 which is the same as Cisse, well I can understand the mackems fearing Shola but….

As for ‘shooting‘, Cisse’s 7 is only half a point better than Best and one point more than Shola!

In terms of ‘heading’ Shola actually gets half a point (7) more than Cisse while in terms of ‘speed’, you’re going to love this, Cisse gets the same mark (6.5) as Shola!

To see their full statistics visit here

You literally couldn’t make it up, or maybe they did….

 

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