What is Charva/Chav exactly? Well to me it is a combination of state of mind and behaviour, so here are my nominations.
Up front it is a no-brainer to have the ponytailed Andy Carroll leading the line, with Lee Cattermole the inspirational King Charva in the middle of the park, you could even call him ‘captain’ until he is predictably sent off.
Actually, we should play with a front three and who better to be playing either side of Carroll than ‘Suarez and Tevez’, sounds a bit like a South American firm of solicitors…or dentists!
At the back it must be a no-brainer to have ‘England’s’ John Terry as the ‘backbone’ of the team and why not include his team mate Ashley Cole, especially after the way he treated wor Cheryl.
Maybe we could call on the old boys Bowyer and Dyer, two fine examples to the footballers of tomorrow, it should also ensure excellent team spirit…
It would be easy to make up the rest of the team with Stoke players but I’ll settle for just one in Rory Delap, the embodiment of the desperate trampy football the Potters play.
There must also be a space for Stephen Ireland, a player who is never quite sure from day to day how many living grandmothers he has.
Making up an unbalanced (in more ways than one) eleven is Wayne Rooney, a fine example of how no matter how much money you pay somebody it won’t necessarily change them…
Can you do better?