The normally shy and retiring ‘keeps himself to himself’ ‘arry Redknapp has followed up his announcement he could have bought Hatem Ben Arfa for a string of onions…with more amazing revelations.

Though he didn’t want to talk about it, ‘arry has revealed that he could have bought Jackie Milburn, from under Newcastle United’s noses, for two jam jars when he was player manager of the Poplar under fives.

As his managerial career progressed, ‘arry then turned down Pele when player manager of the Knees Up Mother Brown under elevens, Redknapp feeling that the Brazilian looked a decent player after winning the World Cup but that he had better players already within the sound of the Bow Bells.

‘arry’s managerial career had to take a back seat as he won a dozen domestic trophies as well as leading England to the treble, whatever that might be.

Then as manager of Bournemouth  in the late eighties, he identified World Cup winner Maradona as a decent player but turned him down as he thought he had the same quality in his squad already, players that he then led down into the old third division.

A magnificent managerial career has thus followed, with countless Champions League and Premier League titles all successfully avoided.

Redknapp’s pet bulldog ‘Rosie’ was unavailable for comment.

 

  • Suspicious_puddle

    Pardew manager of the year, redknapp despicable cunt of the century.

  • ArmyKev

    Apparently he bid for Ben Arfa, Tiote and Ba for a combined fee of £200 million but when there respective clubs said £8.5 million was enough he decided that they were not overpriced enough and let them go to Newcastle!

  • Twitchy_Harry

    BLINK BLINK, TWITCH TWITCH, WOBBLE WOBBLE, i’m gona go for my botox injection.

  • HowardTHFC

    Thx Lads, as a Spurs supporter that article is golden, I wish one of us had written it.