Alan Pardew’s Naked Punishment For Demba Ba

Alan Pardew has reacted to Demba Ba’s petulance when substituted, with some very inventive extreme punishment.

The sublime striker was stripped almost naked and locked in a room at a temperature of minus 166F.

The punishment seems to have worked though as Ba tweeted: “I’ve been locked in a room -110 degrees for three min. Nearly naked. I never felt so cold. But now I feel refreshed and ready for the last five games”.

The Cryotherapy (I think I would be crying if it happened to me!) is being used as a way to treat sporting injuries but can be fatal if you left in  for longer than 10 minutes. Alan Pardew allegedly let Demba out after a couple of hours….

The therapy was pioneered in Poland and is claimed to be a stress-relieving treatment that gets your blood flowing.

The NHS are regularly referring patients to use the treatment and other sporting stars have already used it to accelerate recovery from injuries.

User need to use a mask as it is impossible to breathe the air and there is a build-up of using gradually colder and colder rooms leading to thee ultimate -166F one.

It is believed a consortium of Newcastle fans are currently having a whip round to fund a visit by ex-Newcastle United stars to one of these Cryotherapy sessions, extra cash is being sort for the wood and nails to secure the doors from the outside.

Invitations are currently on their way to Michael Owen, Mark Viduka, Albert Luque, Geremi, Damien Duff…..