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In Support Of NUFC’s Average Mike

9 years ago
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The dust has now settled a bit on Sunday’s derby dust-up and I feel a bit more able to reflect than the addled, hyperactive judgemental arse I am when I leave these games and  in the pub afterwards. I’m also able to talk now (thanks friends for laughing) but that is not relevant to the written scribblings of the wordsmith, so I digress, which I shouldn’t ought not do as my remit is to get on with it.

The main point I have taken out of the match, other than that Martin O’Neill is a weaselly-faced pathetic little apologist who I am going to dislike awfully in his tenure as lord of the darkness, is how brilliant it would have been to have won.

Before you scoff at my stating the very bleeding obvious I will quantify that. When Shola knocked in our equaliser in the 92nd minute there were still 3 minutes left, most of which was spent in the sunderland half. If we had of snatched a winner at that point this would have been the brilliant victory I have dreamt of. I think it may even have been preferable to winning by 4 or 5 and battering them for 90 minutes in some ways.

Imagine the jumped up little windbags and their sense of injustice after what would have been a perfectly fair victory. In fact, don’t, it’s just a bit too much of a tease and the next derby is at least 5 months away.

Unfortunately, this did not happen. We did have a glorious chance to win it but the player in space in the box was unable to convert and thus write himself into Tyneside folklore. The fact that the player was ‘Average Mike’ himself probably tells its own story.

As it stands, Williamson is now the villain of the piece, having missed this chance after giving away the penalty from which the mackems slimed their way into the lead. The obvious, needless riving at Turner’s shirt was as pointless as it was baffling with the free kick being chased, always destined for the stands. Alas, it’s not the first time Average Mike has been found to panic in this way, although the likes of Suarez and Tevez are more illustrious beneficiaries than Michael Turner.

I’m not going to go any further in having a pop at Williamson, there’s just no need. He’s not letting anyone down, gives his all and plays to the best of his ability. I just think it’s clear that the limit of that ability is in the upper echelons of the Championship, where he excelled in his early days in a black and white shirt.

We are aiming for the upper echelons of the Premier League and he is being found out a bit. I have a theory that, if it’s true, the club have dropped a massive clanger. With a centre-half high on the list in January transfer window, the ‘crafty’ board realised that the first choice pairing in this position would be the already proven and excellent double act of Coloccini and Steven Taylor. With Taylor injured, there was a need for back-up but why pay good looking money for what amounts to a third choice?

Far better chase some kid from Watford and if he gets uppity over his position forget about it and persevere with Average Mike plugging the gap. I honestly believe the acquisition of a top centre half would have seen 6 points, not 2 from our last two home games and put us right in line for a Champions League spot. I don’t know who the ideal signing would be (I bet Graham Carr does,) or how much he would cost, but I bet he would have paid for himself twice if we sneaked into the group stage.

I do admire the clubs transfer policy to an extent, but there’s only so many games you can come back from a penalty down in, so I wonder if, just this once, speculate to accumulate was the way forward. It didn’t happen though, so I offer my support to Average Mike for the remaining 11 games. Come on A.M., there’s a goal in there I’m sure!

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