Don’t Even Think About it Pards!

So Capello is gone and Alan Pardew is second favourite as I write. While I can only hope that Arry The Barsterd’s acquittal is no mere coincidence, it’s obviously of great concern that Alan Pardew is second favourite.

I’m sure we all hope that he remains up here at SJP to finish the excellent job he’s started but just in case he is tempted, here are a few good examples of why he shouldn’t even think about the England job:

Bobby Robson: A big favourite of ours because of his subsequent work up here, although maybe not during his time at England, after he dropped King Kev.

Still, his record was second only to Alf Ramsey as manager of the Three Lions. The press had it in for him from the outset, though (‘In the name of God, Go!’ etc, etc.), because he was an outsider: non-London by birth and a non-London manager. Even though he had a better record in all respects than his predecessor Ron Greenwood, Robson was vilified in the media by comparison.

*Note to Pards – don’t be hoodwinked by the Greenwood-West Ham connection – you were hounded-out, he sat upstairs for five years pre-England, letting John Lyall take the blame. As for the ‘London-by-birth’ bit – forget it, you’ll be considered damaged goods for the time you’ve been up here.

Kevin Keegan: Alright, another off the old faves list but another prime example of how the national press build up then destroy an England boss who’s not one of their own.

Keegan inherited an England side well out of contention in terms of qualification for Euro 2000 and managed to get them through to the finals. OK, it wasn’t great once we got there but by contemporary standards, results were still better than any other Three Lions side playing in the group stages of the Euros outside England.

In the aftermath of his side’s exit, the press immediately called for Keegan’s head, and have vilified him ever since for doing exactly what they demanded.

*Note to Pards: this is an example of what you can expect from the national media for being an ex-Newcastle boss – no other reason why they could have hated Keegan so much.

Graham Taylor/Lawrie Mackem-Enemy: So now we come an ex-England managerial duo without any NUFC connection (unless you count Lawrie’s sterling job at sunderland, of course).

Now these two weren’t very good – although they did get England to the Euros in 1992 (turnips, anyone?) – but anyone over 35 will remember how the press LOVED Taylor at first, just for not being Bobby Robson.

That was until the first dodgy result, whereupon the fact neither had played at international level was wheeled out and used against them. The same press that had built Taylor up then knocked him down, and how…

*Note to Pards: is this what you want? Or wouldn’t you rather lead Newcastle into Europe instead, with whom your efforts at least will be appreciated.

So Alan, the ball might very soon be in your court, though with the best of intentions, I sincerely hope it isn’t. If the FA – and their slimy friends from the Wembley press box – do come calling, please do the right thing and tell them to F*** Right Off!