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NUFC’s Ashley In Bed With Argies

11 years ago

So the fat man has finally begun the last stage in renaming St James’ Park by removing signage from the walls outside the ground on Barrack Road.

I wonder how long it will take for the replacement signage to be vandalised, assuming it’s going up in the same spot of course. Would he dare?

I see that the Argentine FA have taken a leaf from our owner’s book and decided to controversially rename the country’s first division. Their proposal is to change the name from Liga de Primera Division to the Crucero General Belgrano Primera Division.

The cruiser General Belgrano was part of the Argentine navy and was sunk by the Royal Navy during the Falklands conflict of 1982.

FIFA have objected to this idea and are stating the same rule they used to stop England wearing the poppy on their shirts during the game against Spain last November, namely that it would be a politically motivated act and therefore against their rules.

I have a better idea for them. If they really want to be provocative and get up the noses of the British why not call it the Carlos Tevez Primera Division. The little worky ticket seems to get more coverage and has caused more problems during his time in Britain than the entire Argentine armed forces ever could.

There’s a few things that I would like to change the names of, so if it’s good enough for the Argentines and the fat man then it’s good enough for me.

I’ve always disliked the fact that Shearer’s Bar carries that name as I think the man deserves greater recognition. I would scrap the Sir John Hall Stand and rename it after the sheet metal worker’s son as in my eyes he stands alongside Milburn and Robson.

This would then allow Mike and Derek to rename the pub after themselves; something like ‘Mike And Derek’s House Inn’ or the ‘Madhouse Inn’ for short.

We should have the FA Cup renamed as the ‘Not in my lifetime’ Cup.

Luis Suarez should be renamed ‘Peter Pan’, the boy who never grew up. The only teammate that could make Andy Carroll appear mature.

From now on Harry Redknapp shall be known by me as ‘Harry Houdini’, as he seems to be able to wriggle out of anything.

And the mackems could be renamed….no, I’ll leave that one to you as I can’t think of anything that would be clean enough to be considered for publication.





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