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NUFC – 22,000 Job Vacancies Down The Road

9 years ago
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Spotted in the jobs pages of a national newspaper recently.

 

RENT-A-FAN Ltd.

Having been unable to fill these vacancies locally, a fan-tastic opportunity has arisen at a North East Premier League football club.

Up to 22,000 enthusiastic people are required to act as seat covers. These seats are not used regularly and therefore you will be required to attend the stadium on at least 18 occasions each season.

You will be required to learn songs about the club’s rivals and sing these for the majority of the time you will spend in attendance.

No experience or qualifications are required as full training will be given by those regular attendees sitting adjacent to your allocated seat.

An ability to leave your allocated seat and run onto the pitch, avoiding stewards and police, will be advantageous.

You will also need the ability to count to two on one hand as you may be required to hold up two fingers to visiting fans to indicate a past victory.

Salary is non-negotiable and will be paid at the rate of a tray of cheesy chips and a can of fizzy pop of your choice to be supplied each half time.

Applications in writing, if capable, to Mr Martin O’Neill, stadium of light, sunderland, SR1 5NU or by telephone on 0191515151.

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