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Lessons Learned

11 years ago

The (hopefully Happy…) New Year period, the mid-point in the football season – a time for sober reflection and, for now at least, a temporary return to semi-sober drinking habits, although another big away win for the mackems and I could be tempted to hit the bottle again.

The sight of their silly little manager dancing his silly little jig in celebration, jumping up and down on the touchline like a small child who’s found a lolly..has gone way beyond a joke now, even if their players’ off-field behaviour hasn’t.

So anyway, what have we learned so far during the 2011/12 season?

Firstly, that Chelsea FC, for reasons I have yet to ascertain, are not obliged to have a player dismissed from the field of play regardless of his offence(s). Hmm…where exactly do they play their football again? Oh aye, that must be it. As I’m sure you’ll recall, this all started 4 minutes into their match up here recently, when Colo-wannabe David Luiz was somehow yellow-carded following a textbook, “through-on-goal”, red-card offence.

Fair enough, an obstinate official might have got away with claiming that Shola had not been in control of the ball but surely with goal machine Demba Ba surging clear, it was a goalscoring opportunity.

That was followed up with a John Terry goal-line handball against Villa, which was excused on the basis that Stephen Ireland converted the rebound. Err….surely the fact that Villa didn’t require the penalty doesn’t lessen Terry’s initial offence. How did he stay on?

Finally, Chelsea’s game against Wolves proved once and for all that the FA would love more challengers at the top of the Premiership, especially from the Capital in super-dooper 2012 (yawn!) so A*****le Cole can escape at least 3 bookings in that game, while lovely Frank Lampard can put in the worst tackle of the season and receive only a yellow. Mick McCarthy’s DVD player will be going into overdrive.

Secondly, we’ve also learned what a despicable character Kenny Dalglish is. No, really! As well as fully condoning his players using derivations of the ‘N’ word towards fellow professionals, it seems it’s also perfectly in order to play the innocent, slag off the misguided authorities and even cry victimisation simply because the civilised world intervenes. No wonder David Ngog left the club.

Frankie Boyle’s tongue-in-cheek quote that Glasgow is centuries ahead of the rest of the world in terms of racial and religious bigotry has never seemed more appropriate.

Finally, we, and Alan Pardew in particular, have learned that no one in the media is the slightest bit interested in Newcastle United, judging by the manager’s recent pre-match interviews

Chelsea….”so Alan, a big game for Newcastle today, do you think AVB is getting a raw deal?” – Liverpool…”so Alan, a big game for Newcastle today, do you think the Suarez affair and Andy Carroll’s form will affect Liverpool’s preparation?”

Manure…”so Alan, a big game…blah blah….what do you make of Wayne Rooney being dropped at the weekend?”

Howay Pards, don’t let these buggers get away with it. Dalglish would have at least politely requested the interviewer to question him about his own club.

Assuming he wasn’t French.


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