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Sour Carroll-ine

12 years ago
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“We didn’t force anybody to leave, I disagree with that point. He had a contract here for five years, and at some point it would get renewed, but for him to sign in October and it get renewed in January – where would it stop?… it was his decision….if he didn’t get that contract, he wanted to go”. (Alan Pardew – January 2011)

Alan Pardew, for all of his other perceived faults as a man / manager / club representative / puppet, has never struck me as being an outright liar. In that context, and helicopters notwithstanding, I’ve always accepted his version of the farcical events which were played out at SJP on the last day of January this year as probably closer to the truth than anyone else’s.

The behaviour of Andy Carroll however – sending clandestine texts to a fanzine editor (not us !) denying your personal greed – is hardly the approach I’d expect an honest, aggrieved individual to take.

Let’s face it, Sky’s resident mackem spy David Craig virtually lives in a cardboard box outside St James’ Metro so Andy Carroll had ample opportunity to face the press and repudiate Pards if he felt so wronged. That he declined his right of reply merely served to confirm his guilt in my eyes and even though one of my local restaurateurs (the splendid Ali from Simla) has repeatedly praised Carroll’s manners, decorum and of course, propensity to leave big tips, he s**t on his own for me – that’s Carroll by the way, not Ali, whose food and service are exemplary.

Lest we forget what the player did; regardless of the love he reputedly retains for my local area, a matter of weeks after signing a contract of employment which he presumably was more than happy with, he held the club to ransom just because a smelly Scottish tramp (a different one this week) waved a bottle of Irn Bru and a few fivers in his face.

I can forgive Enrique his move to what he perceives as ‘a bigger club’ because he will have been fed that line by the English / Spanish media growing up in mainland Europe – and the Scousers did win one or two pots in his lifetime I’ll grant you  – but if that situation is to ever change, we need homegrown players to lead the revolution from the real North of England.

In Beardsley, Shearer and Steven Taylor, we have had a taste of that black and white revolution, but when even a Geordie turns his back on you, we’re doomed and the Dalglishs and Redknapps of the world can run amok.

So whatever happens at Anfield tonight and whether or not Carroll scores in what we all expect to be a convincing defeat, let’s put this ‘I never wanted to leave’ nonsense to bed once and for all.

If he does score, it wouldn’t surprise me if he kissed the badge on his new shirt? Maybe he won’t if we pay him not to. That might just work.

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