It’s long been the established public manners on cool and sussed fanzine forums (that’s the likes of us by the way in case you’d never noticed) to dismiss transfer windows and their associated hype, as one more bastard child of the illegitimate generation of the over rewarded, over blown modern game.
So naturally none of your online contributors here will be watching Sky Sports news, reading the BBC website or scouring the papers. We won’t spend January hoping that some attention seeking cyber weasel’s latest piece of cut and pasted twitter gossip is /or isn’t a piece of genuine ‘in the know’ gossip (delete preference according to rumour).
There is also the perversely addictive quality to transfer deadline day and the drip fed ‘fix’ of deals edging along the coloured news band at the bottom of the screen. It’s remorselessly intriguing.
It’s like watching the points mount up on Mastermind (where you don’t understand the questions), or watching the declared results roll by on election nights (where you don’t believe the answers).
There is a perfectly legitimate case against the whole notion of the modern day transfer window – as there is with the play offs – but they undoubtedly deliver drama. There will be loads of misinformation and people queuing up to tell you of done deals.
Now I don’t want to spoil anyone’s fun (much) but compare how many ‘done deals’ you have been told about with the fraction that actually become deals that are done. Done deals have players holding up a club scarf for the cameras, if they haven’t done that yet then they aren’t done yet and I’m happy to clear that one up.
There is also the not inconsequential matter of whom you actually do sign and who you sell. Price is a surprisingly useless guide.
To cherry pick from recent transfer windows, £85m would have got you a front two of Fernando Torres and Andy Carroll, while £6m would have got you Javier Hernandez and Demba Ba. Jordan Henderson for £20m or Yohan Cabaye for £4.5m, take your time with those answers kids…….
So it’s fast approaching that time of year when a sky newshound next to St James’ Park may be as reassuring a sight as Niklas Bendtner dressed as a traffic warden.
Any hopes and fears for this window beyond the obvious? I’m calling the obvious fears being the appearance of unwanted taxis for Tiote, Krul and Coloccini while our arrivals lounge seriously needs some goal power and defensive cover. At the very least don’t sell the aforementioned holy trinity.
What do you think should / will happen? Great ideas, wisdom and er…..’Done deals’ all gratefully received!