We love transfer windows, except when we don’t.

It’s long been the established public manners on cool and sussed fanzine forums (that’s the likes of us by the way in case you’d never noticed) to dismiss transfer windows and their associated hype, as one more bastard child of the illegitimate generation of the over rewarded, over blown modern game.

So naturally none of your online contributors here will be watching Sky Sports news, reading the BBC website or scouring the papers. We won’t spend January hoping that some attention seeking cyber weasel’s latest piece of cut and pasted twitter gossip is /or isn’t a piece of genuine ‘in the know’ gossip (delete preference according to rumour).

There is also the perversely addictive quality to transfer deadline day and the drip fed ‘fix’ of deals edging along the coloured news band at the bottom of the screen. It’s remorselessly intriguing.

It’s like watching the points mount up on Mastermind (where you don’t understand the questions), or watching the declared results roll by on election nights (where you don’t believe the answers).

There is a perfectly legitimate case against the whole notion of the modern day transfer window – as there is with the play offs – but they undoubtedly deliver drama. There will be loads of misinformation and people queuing up to tell you of done deals.

Now I don’t want to spoil anyone’s fun (much) but compare how many ‘done deals’ you have been told about with the fraction that actually become deals that are done. Done deals have players holding up a club scarf for the cameras, if they haven’t done that yet then they aren’t done yet and I’m happy to clear that one up.

There is also the not inconsequential matter of whom you actually do sign and who you sell. Price is a surprisingly useless guide.

To cherry pick from recent transfer windows, £85m would have got you a front two of Fernando Torres and Andy Carroll, while £6m would have got you Javier Hernandez and Demba Ba. Jordan Henderson for £20m or Yohan Cabaye for £4.5m, take your time with those answers kids…….

So it’s fast approaching that time of year when a sky newshound next to St James’ Park may be as reassuring a sight as Niklas Bendtner dressed as a traffic warden.

Any hopes and fears for this window beyond the obvious? I’m calling the obvious fears being the appearance of unwanted taxis for Tiote, Krul and Coloccini while our arrivals lounge seriously needs some goal power and defensive cover. At the very least don’t sell the aforementioned holy trinity.

What do you think should / will happen? Great ideas, wisdom and er…..’Done deals’ all gratefully received!

  • Mal

    I’ll be pleasantly surprised (even amazed) if we start February with a better squad than we have now. The vultures are circling and Tiote in particular looks vunerable; meanwhile the powers that be seem to be thinking along the lines that we needn’t sign another striker until the summer (did Maiga really fail his fitness test – or did MA/DL get cold feet). Sometime hopefully, when he can haul himself away from the casino, DL might give some thought to tieing up Krul on a new contract – just a thought.

    • B Mcqueen

      I’m cynical but only up to a point. The club took a chance on Ba’s fitness and on that of Marveaux. One gamble handsiomely repaid and one set of fingers burned it would seem. I don’t know of course but I suspect that Maiga “honestly” failed a medical. But to be more honest Mal I’m being picky. We don’t know who comes and goes in advance of the transfer window but the smart money (I suspect including yours) says we will make a profit.

  • Geordie Rhino

    The annual loathing of the transfer window is upon us. Personally wish there was only one ‘silly season’ in the calender and to my mind they belong in the summer. Almost tempting to cancel my Sky subscription for a month such is the incessant drivel that is served up. However if we are to go for any signings I would go for a big centre back. The Taylor injury has hurt is more than we really perceive. Colo seems to be carrying a niggle and you wonder if he was rushed back after the thigh/back injuries. Wonder how much Samba would cost from Blackburn?

    • Percy Street

      I would sign Samba in a heartbeat but can’t see us putting sufficient wedge down. More likely a centre back scouted from Holand or France – which given our recent record ain’t neccesarily bad but Samba is a proven PL player and for my money a better player than the much hyped Cahill.

      • Geordie Rhino

        Samaba is on a contract until 2015 so would cost a large wadge + January premium + “Hello its Newcastle on the line with Carroll money in pocket” + VAT. Where is the modern day equivalent of Stuart Boam when you need them?