Will We Ever See Herbie Ride Again?

When a race team starts rebuilding an old banger using non-standard parts, you never really know with any degree of accuracy what you’re gonna get until you take it out for a good run…

Our Porsche from 10 years ago had been traded in for a used Scooby (Ed: Subaru in slang, apparently!) that turned out to be a complete bag of hammers and after a whole bunch of mechanics having unsuccessfully messed about with it, was traded in for a steady and reliable VW that got us back out of the championship.

The garage decided to change the head mechanic yet again and a relatively new young mechanic with very little experience of running a big dealership, appeared from nowhere having been found in a small garage under the arches just behind a big casino in London.

Many on-looking customers were not too impressed with this new young mechanic but as it turns out he really knew his VWs and he got her running like a dream…he then swapped the 4 cylinder turbo for a French built VR6 engine and all of a sudden was giving some Porsches, Jags and even Ferraris a good run for their money.

However, when running flat out one day towards the end of the season, something went bang and the old trusty VW limped home from somewhere in Liverpool leaking a bit of oil…but credit where credit’s due…she’d been running like a dream for most of the year and outperformed many more expensive cars with much bigger racing budgets…so well done Mr Pardew…very well done indeed!

Having stripped down the engine during the closed season waiting for new parts to come, the lead mechanic was told at the very last minute no new parts were available, and the engine was hurriedly put back together again using the same original bits but for some reason developed a dodgy miss-fire.

With the race season now well under way, the trusty mechanic just can’t get the engine running anywhere near as good as last year. When anything goes wrong the mechanic isn’t able to replace the parts with genuine VW parts and has to do with some cheaper components that simply don’t seem to perform as well and the warranty is now null and void.

At this point in the film something within Herbie normally sparks into life, he starts flying past the Jags and Porsches again and the baddies eat dust…but I’m not so sure which script we’re working off this year and there’s also another twist in there which could lead to us losing two major components in January.

Irrespective of what happens in January, Pardew needs to sort out this very annoying miss-fire. At the minute we’ve got Ford Escorts and Vauxhall Corsas overtaking us and the Ferraris, Jags and Porsches have already lapped us.

Any ideas as to what’s causing the miss-fire and what can put the script back on track please let us know!

Herbie Rides Again Part II coming your way soon…..fingers crossed!

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  • tynetug

    ouch nowt better to say aboot the toon

    • http://twitter.com/toon_blogger Mark Sparky Roberts

      love the toon…we’re just not firing on all cylinders yet are we…wish we could find our form but just not happening at the moment…what do you think the problem is

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kevin-Taylor/632047642 Kevin Taylor

    What is it with us geordies, we had a great season last season but admittedly we have started this season poorly. Our Blue Chip (sic) players are not performing we have picked up a few injuries and of course Europe is taking its toll on our players, blah blah blah. Yet in 15 games in all competitions we have only lost three, two to the Manc’s and the other to Chelski who are 1 and 2 in the Premier League. If we only maintain our present league form we will collect 55 points at the end of the season, that would have meant we finished 8th last season. That is a position a lot of people would have been happy with this season. So lets not get to down, we will play better because we have good players and I have no doubt we will achieve more than 55 pts. We are 3 pts off fifth place so cheer up the best is yet to come

    • http://twitter.com/toon_blogger Mark Sparky Roberts

      not here to argue and don’t disagree with you…but we’re simply not firing on all cylinders yet are we…what do you think the problem is

  • Al

    are you Alan Partridge in disguise?

  • starstruck

    Tiote (or his replacement) isn’t getting hold of the ball enough, and when we do get it, we aren’t keeping hold of it very well.

    Last season we had a lot of luck, a lot of little things went our way, and we won ugly quite often too.

    Football is about momentum and we are ironically hindered by last season’s strong finish as a result.

    What we need is a nice run of decent, winnable fixtures to get our groove back and improve our league position – and after Anfield we have just such an opportunity.