We then collate the thousands of votes and publish all the results in the summer special (out on 8th June) of our magazine.

Contributing to those totals, each day we’ll be asking you to vote via the website on a single question, we’ll leave it open for 24 hours and then let you know what the website voting has been.

So today we are asking you, what do you expect/hope for next season?

What would satisfy you on the pitch for Newcastle United in the next campaign?

Starting with the positives, after three and six goal nightmares at home, at least today had some respectability.

Newcastle were actually the better team in a decent first half and if Cisse had put away Newcastle’s best chance after an excellent cutback by Mapou, then who knows who would have ended up in the Champions League.

Obviously he didn’t…and Spurs didn’t!

Once again though the lack of scoring options is woeful, with so much weight of expectation on Cisse’s shoulders that no wonder his game has been affected.

One positive today though was Yoan Gouffran playing centrally and giving Cisse more support. Gouffran’s running and intelligent play made him arguably our best performer in that half.

Naturally he didn’t get that much chance to impress in the second half as he yet again was substituted, much to the crowd’s displeasure.

Hatem Ben Arfa looked the most likely to get a home goal and a handful of exhilarating runs were ruined by wayward finishing as he blazed his shots high and/or wide. He was though the one player on Newcastle’s team who looked capable of producing in a creative sense and I simply don’t understand then when you get fans moaning when he tries something and it doesn’t come off. To see moments of magic you have to accept that sometimes they will lose the ball, that is surely why you have the likes of Jonas and Tiote in the team to cover for Ben Arfa.

Speaking of getting exasperated, it was no surprise to see that our corners and set=pieces were almost exclusively a waste of everybody’s time. However, why then did we have moaning when we did short corners or played free-kicks short, surely it is worth a try rather than chipping the ball into the middle and hoping Taylor somehow eludes the whole of their defence and scores.

Naturally, their goal had to come from a corner didn’t it.

Koscielny getting first to a knockdown and planting it into the net via Harper’s face at close range. The twenty year veteran had a decent game but perhaps could have done slightly better , though it would have taken some smart work to keep it out.

Mapou was easily the pick of our team and as well as coping comfortably with Walcott, he was at times our best player going forward. Playing with a bit more freedom at full-back he is showing himself to be a very clever and classy player, one who it is vital we keep hold of as he adapts to our league.

As usual Newcastle faded in the second half and could find no end product despite often getting in and around the Arsenal box.

Taken in isolation this wasn’t a bad performance but when it comes on the back of 0-3 and 0-6 scorelines, three defeats in a row and 0-10 in terms of goals is what most people will remember.

Newcastle United: Harper, Debuchy, Coloccini, Taylor, Mapou (Campbell 80), Ben Arfa, Tiote, Cabaye (Anita 57), Jonas, Gouffran (Marveaux 64), Cisse

Unused Subs: Alnwick, Perch, Simpson, Obertan

Arsenal:  Szczesny, Sagna, Metesacker, Koscielny, Gibbs, Ramsey, Arteta (Oxlande-Chamberlain 28), Rosicky, Cazorla (Wilshere 88), Walcott, Podolski (Giroud 77)

Ref: Howard Webb

We have good players in there, we also have makeweights, to put it diplomatically.

The position of the manager is the most intriguing though, however, trying to second guess Ashley makes Churchill’s description of 1940s Russia as a ‘riddle wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma’, seem like a Sun crossword.

Ashley made no bones about his intentions when buying out Freddy and his mates, we were a vehicle for selling tracksuits and trainers, fair enough, we knew were we stood.

It is also to the club’s benefit that it is his own money at stake and not that of shareholders or rapacious banks. However, he must balance the need to, well, balance the books for the ‘fair play’ rules, to progress the team to his aspired aim of challenging the top 4. This will either cost quite an investment, or employing a more proven manager. Are we to be merely afund raising operation to repay his loans, or genuine players in the Premiership game? Speculate to accumulate with the added TV exposure of regular European games?

Doubtless you have heard the rumours of Benitez being approached and doubtless the reaction of many of you will be the same as mine, in that we have more chance of tempting Ferguson out of retirement. Why would he need to come here?

However, a recent press conference by him and stories attributed to ‘sources close to’, suggest that it isn’t the improbability I first thought. He would consider either a club well minted, or one with a ’2 to 3 year project’, which certainly puts us in the frame. For myself I’d give the bloke a piggyback up here, he would be an excellent appointment.

That said, the negative aspect creeps in. Would he be prepared to be totally subservient to Ashley and Llambias? Precedent suggest not, he likes autonomy.

There are clearly elements of the squad not totally in trusting of Pardew’s methods, we are tactically naïve, technically lacking in some areas and have the overall lightning pace in the squad of tectonic plates. I confess to realising that Pardew is probably not going to get any better than this and considering he was hired to progress us, then logic dictates that having done so, he passes the baton on when his race is run.

We all fear though, what dread names of managerial dole bound Londoners lurk in Ashley’s phone book?

Dave Bassett? Terry Venables? Dennis Wise???

As ever at the end of a season, we always say this next transfer window is the most important in the history of the club, and whilst this summer isn’t as potentially cataclysmic as the relegation season of a few years ago, there are chances to progress.

Imagine the players a manager of the standing of Benitez could attract. So Ashley has a chance to stick or twist, stick and float around mid-table morphing into a feeder club for those with more ambition, or twist and become the club that exploits that policy in other teams.

If it is to be ‘stick’, then tell your manager to stop whining about the Europa League and next season stop treating the domestic Cups like a forfeit, rather than an opportunity.

If it is to be ‘twist’, then imagine your products potentially being advertised in Madrid rather than ‘Backofbeyondistan’, Munich rather than a welfare park in a dodgy area of Athens.

I suspect we’re in for more of the same but until my doctor tells me otherwise, I’ll keep turning up and playing emotional Roulette, and pray my suffering heart lasts longer than our latest 5 year plan.

blackadderboy@yahoo.co.uk

The figure combines rewards for where you finish in the Premier League and then is topped up with extra cash depending on how many times you feature live on TV.

While Newcastle have fallen to thirteen in the cash league table, despite finishing sixteenth in the real league table, the popularity of United for live broadcasting has seen us still top Villa, Southampton and Stoke who all finished higher in the table.

Only Spurs, Arsenal, Liverpool and the two Manchester clubs were seen on live TV more than Newcastle, Chelsea being shown the same number of times.
The figures below are rounded up or down to the nearest Million.

£61m     Manchester United
£58m     Manchester City
£57m     Arsenal
£56m     Tottenham
£55m     Chelsea
£55m     Liverpool
£52m     Everton
£49m     West Ham
£48m     Swansea
£48m     West Brom
£46m     Norwich
£45m     Fulham
£45m     Newcastle United
£45m     Aston Villa
£45m     Stoke
£44m     Southampton
£43m     Sunderland
£41m     Wigan
£40m     Reading
£40m     QPR

Mike Ashley’s advertising, which can be seen from outer space, will be covered over as part of the deal with shirt and stadium sponsor, Wonga.

In PR terms, the pay day loans company obviously feel there is a lot more potential for getting positive coverage by this route rather than replacing the Sports Direct eyesore with one of their own.

Just as with the renaming of St.James’ Park disgrace, Mike Ashley has benefited from massive amounts of free advertising (whether you think that is right or wrong is immaterial as he will do whatever he wants) for his business empire, having the SD logo stuck on the Gallowgate roof.

At least those of us in the Leazes End might be able to take our sunglasses off now, after having to look at the Gallowgate roof logo in recent times.

What I find tiresome is the fact that we are supposed to be grateful for all of this. It is like lending one of your mates a tenner and when he pays you back a couple of yours later you should be kissing his feet in gratitude.

The fans didn’t want St.James’ Park renamed or defaced but I suppose I should at least thank to some degree our pay day loan friends for the fact I won’t have to instead stare at a massive Wonga sign all next season, though expecting something worthwhile to watch on the actual pitch is in the lap of the gods, or Mike Ashley and Derel Llambias as we call them round here.

Champions League Final 2013

Borussia Dortmund v Bayern Munich

7.45pm Saturday 25th May – live on ITV1

If either team comes from behind to win the match, BetVictor will refund losing Correct Score, First/Last Goalscorer & Scorecast bets on the Champions League Final up to a maximum of £50 per person/house!  For full terms and conditions click HERE

It feels like ‘Groundhog Day’ and I’m experiencing once again the days following the end of the 2012/13 season, the only difference being it comes without any of the warm feelings form the season just past.

Alan Pardew has said the following in an interview with the Chronicle;

“We are one of those clubs where we are liable to lose one of our great players to a Champions League team through finance and sometimes the will of the player.

You cannot keep a player who does not want to stay.

Having said that, it is going to be very difficult for any club to get a player out of here unless it is a serious or big bid.”

This is surely almost word for word what we heard last summer.

What point is served by saying the above apart from making it clear to other clubs that Newcastle will sell their best players if they are offered enough money.

I can already hear some of you rushing to defend this type of statement, with cries of ‘You have to live in the real world…somebody offers silly money…don’t worry Graham Carr will find some more bargains….why always negative about Ashley…and so on’.

The difference is though that other clubs outside of those who have the Champions League money, don’t go around making it clear they will sell, not if they have any ambition anyway. Yes we all know if Real Madrid want Mike Williamson it will be hard to keep hold of him, or if PSG come in for Dan Gosling we’ll have a fight on our hands – but there is no need to put the ‘For Sale’ signs up.

I have little doubt that in the days to come we will be treated to quotes and headlines, from Alan Pardew and club friendly journalists, along the lines of;

‘Keeping best players this summer will be success for Newcastle United’

or

”If elite players stay it will be like making top new signings’

or

‘Priority for Newcastle must be to retain key players’

Most goals conceded in a Premier League season for NUFC.

Most long balls in a Premier League season for NUFC

Biggest home defeat in a Premier League season for NUFC

Biggest home derby defeat in a Premier League season for NUFC

Defeat against Arsenal means the most losses ever in a Premier League season for NUFC

Worst run of form over a 10 game period in the Premier League for NUFC ever

No goals scored from a corner which again is the worst in a Premier League season ever for NUFC

Statistically the worst manager to have 50+ games in charge of NUFC in the Premier League .

Add to the record the first time we have lost 3 home games in a row for the first time since the last relegation season in 2008/09. (Thanks to Steve Passmoor for the correction)

You decide……..

Hold your horses on booking holidays and/or going into work, there are some dates you need to out in your diary first.

No doubt there will be rumours and bogus lists going around beforehand but the 2013/14 Premier League fixture list is announced at 9am on Wednesday 19th June.

Watch out though of course before you plan too far ahead from there, in the weeks following the fixtures release you’ll need to see who SKY and BT will pick for their early season live TV matches.

Once that nonsense is out of the way we can then start to look forward/worry to Saturday 17th August when the Premier League kicks-off for another season.

Will Alan Pardew still be manager and which players will go in and out of the door at St.James’ Park?

As always, we will hope for the best and fear the worst, it is our duty.

A lot of the time you can can get away with conceding goals just so long as you are knocking them in at the other end.

While the total of goals conceded ended up as a bit of shocker, letting in 21 in just 4 our league matches made it look a lot worse than it was.

Back Of The Net

At the other end though we have had a shocker all season pretty much and the second half of the campaign has been disastrous.

In the first 29 matches (all competitions), Newcastle managed 36 goals and on 9 occasions managed 2 goals or more in a match.

However, in the second part of the season it went even further downhill, as in 25 matches (all competitions) Newcastle scored only 23 goals and on only 5 occasions out of 25 did they score 2 or more goals.

No wonder we didn’t win many matches! In 20 games since the new year, if the other team scored then we weren’t going to win.

It is the final run-in though that lays down to Mike Ashley why he has to bring in goals so desperately, plus of course the manager having a team laid out to create and score.

In Newcastle United’s last 12 matches, on only one occasion did they score 2 goals, and that was against an abysmal Queens Park Rangers who gifted us both goals.

In that second half of the season, the only clubs that United scored 2 or more against were QPR, Southampton, Stoke, Aston Villa and Chelsea.

I don’t think it is any coincidence that in four of those five matches, the opposition played an open game which gave the chance for Newcastle to attack and find space. Only against Stoke did we break down a more defensive team and manage to score two goals, even then it took a last gasp effort from Papiss Cisse.

So is the answer to; buy creative players, buy goalscorers, work on set-pieces, set the team up in a more attacking style…

I would say yes on all counts, if not we could have a long hard season ahead of us to look forward to and you can still hear the death rattle of the one that’s just passed away.

It all started on Thursday 4^th April 2013. Newcastle United were in Lisbon to play Benfica in the Europa League. We’ve had some amazing away trips in recent years (type in “drunk Geordie sings Coloccini song” into Youtube. It’s my uncle doing karaoke in Swansea in April of 2012. He was drunk. I nearly died laughing. Here (below) is a photo of myself and my brother.

We can’t really breathe, we were laughing so much. I’m the one who has collapsed from laughing, my brother’s the one who’s having the heart attack), so expectations were high for this one. New country for me, new stadium for all of us (I think) and good times a plenty.

Anyway, I digress. We flew from Manchester airport early Thursday morning, strolling past the plebs who didn’t opt for fast boarding or whatever it’s called. Everything from then on was hunky dory, get into Faro airport fine. Now, we get to the passport control, and lo and behold, the people have been replaced by machines. In theory, a great idea. In practice, when a plane containing the odd drunken Geordie turns up, not such a great idea. One man in particular, my God, he approaches the machine, which was already quite troublesome for the many holidaymakers already, and puts his passport in upside down, backwards, on the wrong page. Every possible incorrect way, he did this, until finally he gets through the first gate. You could hear everybody behind him let out a sigh of relief. Until he shouted, “Tonight Matthew, I’m gonna be…”, not realising he had another gate and check to do…

Driving from Faro to Lisbon was fine, I was in my shorts and t-shirt, enjoying the 15 degrees Toon summer like weather that Lisbon was experiencing. Until it started raining, so I sadly had to change into my jeans out of practicality, leaving my ambition by the wayside.  We get into our hotel which is right next to a metro station and make our way to the city centre for lunch. As first impressions go, Lisbon: you fail.

Within seconds of leaving the metro station, we were offered coke by a 15 year old, crack by a 30 year old, and a huuuuge bag of weed by a pensioner with no top on. Crazy. I’d go back there in a heartbeat if all the people buggered off, like Liverpool. We even saw a girl with only one arm, who one of us gave a euro to. She then walks over to one of the drug dealers, gives the money to him, high-5s him (with her one remaining arm, clearly).

The thing with our football trips is that, more often than not, the match becomes an irrelevance (mainly cos we lose, a lot, but we’re not jinxes by any means). We lost the match 3-1 but that doesn’t matter too much in terms of how enjoyable this trip was. Before the match, to ramp up the atmosphere and as a sign of ‘fate’ or whatever, a bald eagle is flown around the Benfica stadium, and if it lands on a certain spot, then Benfica will win. So of course it lands on the certain spot and of course Benfica win. Oh well… After the match had finished and we had some food, we settled in the Hard Rock Café like any tourist would, and enjoyed some good music and a few cocktails.

The next day, we were up early-ish to travel back down the Portuguese coast to Faro. Getting into the hotel there, we learn that my uncle, who had organised it all masterfully up until now, had in fact booked us in for the previous night. So, with some negotiating, he gets the 4 of us rooms for the night, upgraded from the ones we would have had, only paying a bit extra on top of the previous fees. Well worth it I’d say. Faro is really where the story gets going though. After finding a beautiful bar on the city walls overlooking the sea, and drinking some caiprinhas while getting a bit of a tan on, dearest uncle again had a fantastic idea of doing a boat tour of the coast.

Ok, bird-watching on a footy trip isn’t quite what I signed up for, but we went along with it. Before getting on the boat, I thought it my duty to buy at least one round on the trip, so I did. Luckily, it only came to 6, yes 6 euros. And that wasn’t even the cheapest round of the night, but more on that later. Anyway, realising that the boat we were getting to an island which was “one of THE places to see in the Algarve” was going to be the last one of the day, we decided to do what all Geordies would do in that situation. Upon arriving at the island, we ran off the boat, straight to the bar, got in some beers, ran back to the boat and relaxed, having seen all we needed to see. The overall turnaround of boat-pint-boat was about 90 seconds, which is pretty impressive, even for a Geordie’s standards.

After being joined by some of our pals who got the train down instead of a rent-a-lack-of-legroom, we went in search for some authentic Portuguese cuisine, which we found on the off-chance in a small, quiet restaurant off the beaten track somewhat. Great food, nice owner, the evening seemed to be progressing well. Until some pretty rough looking Geordies walk in, one of them going (in a Geordie accent, obviously) “ee, what are ye deeing here?!”, rather aggressively. One of our party of 5 (sadly one of the pair who joined us in Faro had to abandon evening festivities due to illness. She didn’t miss much…) got pretty annoyed about this, and started mumbling to us about fighting them if anything kicks off. That is, up until he goes to the toilet and, upon his return, is stopped by one of the hard-arse Geordies commenting about his t-shirt, which was a Rush t-shirt (a Canadian prog-rock band, seen in I Love You, Man, starring Paul Rudd and Jason Segel). Suddenly these aggressive, drunken louts were now best friends, or Rush W***ers as the rest of us called them. How things can change in a blink of an eye.

Maybe it was the amazing Portuguese cuisine, the great atmosphere created by the Rush W***ers, or the wine; actually, it was definitely the wine, but we were all having a class time. At the dinner table, we decided to play a tongue-twister drinking game we call Mrs Higgledy-Piggledy. It may go by a different name to you, but that’s what we call it. Anyway, you have to recite a 9-stage tongue-twister, stage by stage all the way through, drinking when you make a mistake and restarting at the stage you made an error at.

It goes like this: “One fat hen; A couple of ducks; Three Brown Bears; Four running hares; Five fat females fixing for a fight; Six Sicilian seamen sailing the seven seas; Seven sleek sheep slitters skilfully slitting sheep; Eight: I’m not a pleasant pheasant plucker, I’m the pheasant plucker’s mate, I only pluck the pheasants when the pleasant pheasant plucker’s late; Nine: Mrs Higgledy-Piggledy has a square-cut punt, not a punt cut square but a square-cut punt. Round in the middle, square at the front, Mrs Higgledy-Piggledy has a square-cut punt.” Saying this as fast as possible, especially when even the slightest bit tipsy, is hard, but so very funny. I’d strongly recommend it.

From the restaurant, we wondered the streets of Faro for a bit, stumbling upon a student festival outside a church. Yeah! Students! Booze and debauchery and stuff! No. Portuguese students prefer to recite poetry and crap like that for their parties. As lame as it sounds, I managed to buy possibly the cheapest round of drinks I’ll ever buy. €2.80 for 4 beers, not pints, but y’know, that’s amazing no matter how you look at it. So in total, I bought two rounds consisting of 4 beers each, and still got change from €10. Economic ;)

The student festival thing was pretty timid really, so we headed back to the bar on the city walls, which was now heaving and had a live band playing, consisting of a guitarist who thought he was far, far better than he really was, and a female singer who was, well, suitable for the venue. Now, there’s a phenomena that I only really noticed here, but in fact it is a worldwide thing: if a Shania Twain song comes on, be it band or DJ, women in their late 30s-mid 50s just appear out of nowhere and dance. Remarkable.

Leaving the bar at 2ish in the AM, we started the walk back to the hotel, passing by a park on the way. Only, this wasn’t a park. It was an outdoor gym, with cross trainers and arm thingies and other gym stuff. So, being pretty merry, but not smashed, well one of us was, we decided to have a bit of a late night/early morning workout. After satisfying our inner child, something inside us possessed the 5 of us to samba through the streets of Faro all the way back to the hotel.

I can’t comment on how good we were, but we were loud enough to seem amazing. Reaching the doors of the hotel, we stop samba-ing and start walking, as if everything was normal. Getting into the lift, we wait until the doors close, and start samba-ing again, lift shaking. One of us, who shall remain anonymous (though you can see him on the front of the Chronicle whenever something good happens to NUFC) thought it hilarious to jump and stomp on the floor, stopping the lift before we even reached the first floor. Black.

I do believe this is where I started this story. 5 of us, myself included, stuck in a lift at 2:30am in Faro. We burst out laughing, and I decide to stopwatch how long we were stuck for. It felt like hours. One of the more senior members of the group, seeing certain death on the horizon, got very angry indeed, shouting at us for wasting oxygen for laughing so much and samba-ing further in this time of crisis.

Three and a half minutes almost exactly. Doors open and a very disgruntled female receptionist stands, probably swearing at us in Portuguese, staring into our souls as we try not to laugh. Of course, once we get to the first floor, we samba up the stairs again.

A perfect end to a rather good trip.

You can follow Will on Twitter @willmurta and he has his own blog which you can visit HERE