Don’t worry, only another six days and a few hours until you can safely bin all the Newcastle United transfer stories until the summer.

Alongside the endless Andros Townsend claims and counter claims, another transfer tale has swamped the news.

It has all the key ingredients for making headlines…

Young up and coming future superstars – TICK

Unknown players from another country so none of us have any idea what they are really like – TICK

A £35m price tag – TICK

The only small problem of course, is that the story is utter bollocks!

The story goes that Newcastle United are ready to pay £35m in a double deal for 19 year olds, Filip Benkovic and Ante Coric, one a defender and the other a midfielder, both playing for Dinamo Zagreb.

The Newcastle United transfer link appeared in the media in Croatia and was then repeated in the English press, and repeated, and repeated…

I have no problem with the initial reporting of it because it is fair enough for our English newspapers and websites to say that this is being claimed in Croatia etc BUT at some point there has to be some scrutiny as to whether the transfers would make any possible sense.

Firstly, if these are truly potential superstars of the future, why would they be interested in going to the second tier of English football, rather than Chelsea, Real Madrid, Bayern Munich?

Secondly, if these are truly potential superstars of the future, why aren’t the likes of Chelsea, Real Madrid and Bayern Munich all over them like a rash, rather than Newcastle…allegedly.

More pertinently for us Newcastle supporters, how exactly do these transfers work from our end?

The only show in town is Newcastle United getting promoted over the course of the next three and a half months and exactly where would this pair fit into that?

Any signings that might be made in the remaining days of January will need to be capable of hitting the ground running (as well as hopefully having some use potentially in the future). Having played for roughly a season each in the Croatian League, which probably ranks somewhere between the League of Ireland and the Scottish Premier (or second tier…), clearly neither Coric or Benkovic would be any use in that short-term ‘if’ Newcastle pay out the £35m…

It isn’t like either of them has been put on fast track promotion to the national side either, Benkovic never called up for the senior team and Coric having played 77 minutes in friendlies as a sub.

With Newcastle losing to both Sheffield Wednesday and Blackburn, it ensured they weren’t in the kind of dominant position where they could sell themselves as a Premier League in all but name and go out to buy PL level players.

In fact it is clearly quite the opposite, with Newcastle having no interest in making any permanent buys, instead looking at possible loans.

So the idea of spending £35m on untried teenagers who could possibly be worth a lot more in the future, it isn’t going to happen.

Sorry to disappoint you…