How the hell have Newcastle United managed to pull Rafa Benitez?

“The man from Madrid (not Del Monte…) he say YES!”

It will go down in the history of pulling…ranked higher than the night old Burt the tramp bedecked in a BO dripping Wonga top, knotted string for a belt, nee shoes on and kegs soiled front and back, somehow tapped Scarlett Johannson in Sgt Peppers.

Even though this club has rolled down a vast hill for the last eight years and is covered in turd and bruises – it is brilliant that this guy can still appreciate the beauty within.

A soul fire of black and white flame that even Mike Ashley’s shrivelled business todger has failed to extinguish with his regular party piece of parade pi**ing.

Battered, bruised, down at the mouth – but still not dead. Just.

Just when things seemed darker than… the club snare a manager who is without doubt a pedigree racehorse – not a lame runner from the donkey derby.

How? Who cares really, but the fact they have, means for sure that the penny has finally dropped. No doubt that Mike caught it before it hit the deck – but it has dropped.

No way Rafa Benitez comes here and doesn’t have the keys to the Castle.

No way Benitez comes without being made the Manager of the club from bonce to trotters.

No way Benitez comes with a bunch of goons behind the scenes.

No way Benitez takes players he doesn’t want.

No way he lets players leave without his say so.

This guy means Business.  This guy is a REAL Manager.  This guy is a WINNER.

We are no doubt still in the box seat to be relegated – ut this just gives us that glimmer of hope as we reach yet another crossroads in the club’s history. Maybe not as big as ‘92 – but not far off it.

Rafa Benitez is taking over a real life game of snakes and ladders – he can roll a six, climb a ladder and be a hero, or he could roll a one, slide down a snake and out the league. It’s massive man – MASSIVE!

Let him run the club, let him build the club, let we gan!

If anyone can balls this up it’s the club hierarchy, who have handled the situation no better than monkeys in a joke shop. They need to keep the hell away,  sit in a darkened room with fingers crossed in the brace position and prepare to kiss their arse goodbye.

All we need is this bunch of sad sack players to smell what Benitez is cooking and hope that the reality and gravity of the situation kicks in – and fast.

No guarantees these perennial inconsistent underperformers will do that either. If they don’t do it now for him, they never will – and more fool them.

Some of them think they are just too good for us, well look at the table chaps – you are currently not even good enough for the Premier League, WAKE THE F*** UP!”.

If Rafa the gaffer keeps us up, the future is excitedly bright.

We could easily all be made mugs of again – but this is huge. C’mon UNITED!

You can follow the author on Twitter @JamieSwan1

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