‘Yes we can now go over to the Newcastle United training ground and exclusively reveal, that Steve McClaren has not turned up to take training on Wednesday morning…without first stopping off for a bacon and egg buttie’.

And so it goes on…

Tuesday was just yet another embarrassing day spent following Newcastle, even with the best will in the world and the fact you know it is going to be rubbish, you can’t help but take notice of at least some of the coverage of Newcastle United’s ‘search’ for a Steve McClaren replacement.

You know that thing about ‘once bitten, twice shy’, well as Newcastle fans we must have some kind of OCD condition where we can’t stop ourselves from putting our hands in the cage time after time after time.

Does anybody honestly really think that Newcastle are out there currently, trying to recruit the very best person to replace Steve McClaren?

A year past January we (via the media) were fed any number of people the club had supposedly contacted, or even actually offered the job to supposedly…

Yet there then came the announcement that instead of a ‘quick’ decision that could backfire, instead Lee Charnley and Graham Carr would scour the world and find the very best who could take the club forward long-term.

That world tour ended up only 30 miles down the road on Teesside at the home of Steve McClaren, who had only become available when sacked for failing at Derby County. That fact meant it was obvious there had been no serious 6 month search, as for most of that time there didn’t look a chance that the plonker would be sacked by the Rams.

Now we have the media claiming talks with Rafa Benitez, contact with David Moyes, serious interest in Brendan Rodgers, with most amusing of all – the Chronicle talking of Bobby Moncur and Peter Beardsley as serious contenders (sadly those last two are the only ones I would consider putting a penny on for the job).

Quite clearly Newcastle United, or more likely Mike Ashley’s king of spin, Keith Bishop, are giving these leads to the journalists.

In these situations, when the same story appears in a number of places simultaneously, you know where the source has been.

Just like back in January and indeed at the end of last season, most of the people linked with the job are out of work.

Obviously it is not a case of a two minute chat and you sign somebody on as manager (or head coach..) but it isn’t far off.

Without having the extra significant hurdle of the supposed intended new manager(s) being already employed and their release/compensation to sort, just how difficult is it to find out if somebody is seriously interested?

An initial phone call to find out if these is any interest, then get your main man (Keith Bishop?) to fly out on Ashley’s private jet to see if agreement can be reached.

On Tuesday a lot of the media suddenly reported that a decision was ‘expected within the next 48 hours’ – what kind of nonsense is that?

Just another line spun out of Newcastle United that is meaningless.

When something doesn’t appear to make any sense….then it is normally a lie.

If there was any serious intention of replacing McClaren, we would have seen a flurry of activity on Sunday at the latest.

Newcastle only have 10 remaining opportunities to help save themselves, so we are now at Wednesday and only five days before the Leicester match and 11 ahead of the derby.

Even if they amazed us and suddenly appointed Rodgers, Moyes or Benitez today, the very earliest they would be getting involved with the players would be Friday/weekend.

It just makes no sense.

The only thing that does, is that once again the club are using the media to make it appear that there is a flurry of serious activity aimed at big change, money spent, commitment to the future and a whole new dynamic at Newcastle United.

Not happening.