This Newcastle v Sunderland match is the first one I have wanted us to win all season.

I have never contributed before – but when I couldn’t get back to sleep after waking up at 3am I had to get this out of my system, this morning has really really brought back to me just how vomit-inducing these games can be, especially when it counts for so much extra today.

Mike Ashley had left me so sickened by his shocking running of the club, I just couldn’t bear to see us struggle through yet another season, hanging on by the skin of our teeth in a third relegation battle in four years.

I ended up wanting to see Newcastle lose every game as that was/is the only feasible way for me, of ever getting rid of Ashley and his shameful running of the club.

The Ashley/Pardew combination and the spin of lies, the faceless people choosing transfers in and out, while nameless others ran the club instead of a proper management team, as they all laughably pretended that the stooge that is Penfold actually had any say.

John Carver’s appointment was tragic as they went on a world tour for a long-term replacement, only to then employ another loser who had just been sacked from the Championship – yet another yes man happy to take the money and to manage (Head Coach) the size of club he could never have dreamed of.

That finished me, what is the point of struggling on for Mike Ashley to enjoy the free SD advertising and bank the TV cash, whilst his asset continues to grow in value each season?

Watching rubbish football and with no ambition whatsoever to try and build something – players brought in yet again in the understanding that if they do ok at Newcastle they will get a move then to a decent club like Spurs or Arsenal.

So with Steve McClaren in place and a disastrous pre-season which included a shambolic tour of the USA (including a plastic pitch where half the team couldn’t be risked!), Captain Calamity given an extended contract(!) and not enough new signings brought in far too late…I decided that the quicker the team/club was totally ruined, the better for everybody…apart from Mike Ashley.

So the first 29 matches I have wanted Newcastle to lose, it was painful to do it but it had to be done.

Even Monday at Leicester I was still so sick of everything that had gone before, even the arrival of Rafa Benitez hadn’t convinced me otherwise.

However, whilst in no way do I forgive Mike Ashley and don’t accept in any way that he has changed his motivation on doing anything Newcastle United related…I now want us to win.

Ashley has been backed into a corner and forced to bring in a proper manager.

Everybody has to get behind Rafa Benitez and the players, no matter what they think of the ogre that owns the club.

I have no doubt that if/when Rafa keeps us up, Mike Ashley will then once again be doing his best to undermine the manager and attempt to renege on whatever promises have been made. No way will he want somebody within the club who has more power than him in the day to day running of transfers and so on.

However, that is a fight for another day.

What we know for sure is that if Mike Ashley did do that in the summer then Rafa Benitez wouldn’t take it like Pardew, Carver and McClaren, he would wash his hands of our sorry club and the owner and get a proper job/club.

With survival Rafa Benitez can build something special here but only if Newcastle survive these remaining nine matches.

All Ashley would then have to do is clear the likes of Charnley and Carr out, appoint a proper Chief Executive and allow him to bring in a qualified off the pitch management team, whilst backing Rafa Benitez financially and letting him get on with running the football side of things.

The future starts here today.

Survival and Rafa Benitez is our only chance of a normal future of a club simply trying to be the best it can.

Howay the lads!

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