I am a 38 year old bloke who has supported Newcastle United all my life. Through all the highs and the many, many lows.

I’ve seen the Shearers and the Shelveys, The Gascoignes and the Gouffrans, The Ferdinands and the Ferreryas. I’ve seen it all, the good and the bad.

It didn’t matter how good or how bad we were though, I’ve always supported Newcastle and always will.  Well, that’s what I thought…

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to suddenly rush out and buy a Leicester top or anything daft like that.

I’ll never support another club. If anyone asked me who my team is I’ll always say Newcastle.  All I’m saying is I’m just not that fussed anymore.  I’m honestly not bothered.  I still go out and watch the game in the club and have a few pints but it’s more of a social thing.  It’s more to have a couple of beers and have a bit crack with the lads.  The football side of the thing doesn’t really faze me; win, lose or draw.

Gone are the days of me diving about like an idiot screaming at the telly and waving imaginary cards.  Gone are the days of me putting a fiver on us beating Man United 5-0. Gone are the days of me getting on a coach at 6am and travelling down the motorway to a faraway town to watch us get comprehensively beat.

Now I just sit, nursing my pint and occasionally muttering things like “we are canny s**t today like” or “howay man, get that gormless grin off your face you nakka (McClaren).”

I don’t want to be this person. I hate who I have become.

I want to have the passion back.

I want to feel the adrenaline course through my veins when someone scores a last minute raker.

I want to dance about with friends and strangers alike, unapologetically swilling beer over each other, laughing, rejoicing, chanting.  But I can’t.  I can’t do it, it’s just not in me anymore.

I feel like one of these little old blokes who have been trapped in a loveless marriage for 30+ years and just sit there saying “yes pet, no pet, three bags full pet.”  Well for me, it’s time to file for divorce. The grounds for divorce? Unreasonable behaviour.

I can honestly say (and I know this is hard to believe after the shower of s**te we have had to put up with under Ashley’s Regime), but this is probably the worst I have ever seen us.

Obviously when we went down we were terrible, but I think we are worse now than we were back then.  We have an absolute clown of a manager, players who don’t care, players who can’t play, boardroom staff who make terrible decisions time after time, a chief scout who wastes vast amounts of money on absolute garbage. We can’t defend, we can’t score, we can’t win away from home, we are lucky if we win at home. Need I go on…?

Thing is though, like the abusive wife, McClaren and Co seem to think this is acceptable behaviour?  He just stands there post-match, after we get embarrassingly humped off every team in the premier league, with a gormless grin on his face like it’s all one big joke. Coming out with things like “we didn’t deserve that” (yes we did Schteve, we were crap mate) or “I thought we played well” (no we didn’t you absolute nakka, we were pathetic).  The man is a joke. For someone with so much experience in the game its hard to work out how is so bad at management?

newcastle united

When we got him in, everyone banged on about how he was a great coach and more of a coach than a manager. I’ve seen no evidence of this. If this is what a great coach is I’d hate to see a bad one.  I never, ever, EVER thought I would hear myself say this, but I actually think John Carver did a better job than this muppet.

I hate to say it but I think we are well down this season. And even worse, we well and truly deserve it.  In every department we have failed.

At the top they failed to get the right management team in (again) and they elected to get in another Yes Man on the cheap.

The scouting system has failed yet again. Yes, Ashley has put his hand in his pocket but the purchases in my opinion have added no value to the squad. (The whole Thauvin thing is just embarrassing).

The coaching team have failed. We are tactically inept and our away form is unbelievably bad. We are the team that everyone looks forward to playing against, an easy three points.

And last but not least, the players. I’ve seen more fight at a four year old’s tea party.  Not one of those players has any passion, not one. They turn up (in a manner of speaking), get paid and go home. But that’s what happens when you actively encourage the signing of players who openly state they are here as a stepping stone.

The only Newcastle United players that do have any passion or ambition soon have it sucked out of them by the other bad apples (Sissoko, ‘Captain’ Colo et al) and have one eye on the exit like everyone else.  It’s absolutely true that the club is rotten from top to the bottom.

So for me the love affair is over.  I can’t pretend and just go through the motions anymore. I’m packing my bags and I’m off!!

I mean it this time, I’ve said it before but this time it’s for real!!

I’m leaving you, you heartless wench. Goodbye, farewell, adios.

(See you on Saturday…)

You can follow Martin on Twitter @MartinPayne17

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